A New View on Fall

Normally this is my favorite time of year, FALL! I loooovvve Fall, and all of the great things it brings with it: the gorgeous colors from the leaves changing, the crisp air, my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, wearing my favorite CFM boots, the local high school football mania, and of course election season (I'm a weirdo, I know, okay?!)

My girlfriends and I have always acknowledged that the bad thing about summer's passing is that (sniff, sniff) we must pack away our cute lil' sundresses until next year (boo). Still, on the whole, Fall was good, right?!

'Cept that this year seems different for me. Because I am a homeowner. Damn, this changes everything. Those stunning leaves? Yeah . . . I think I am now supposed to do something about them in my yard and on the sidewalk?! (Not that I will, but I am now wondering if my next-door neighbor who INSISTS on blowing her leaves into our yard with her one-armed leafblower gizmo, is passing judgement on me).

That crisp air? It's kinda freaking me out now, because I am worried about heating the house this winter. I called our local gas company to find out about their "budget plan," at my mother's encouragement. The price they suggested I pay each month, to balance out the winter months with the summer ones, was OBSCENE! I am praying that because they base it on the prior owner's usage -- an old lady -- and that she jacked up the heat and was on blood thinners, or something like that! Seriously, this panicked me so much that I quickly called every homeowner relative I knew (as well as Lori so she could call HER Mommy for me) and inquired about their winter gas bill! HOLY SHIT! WTF?!

But wait, there's still my birthday that makes Fall happy, right?! Yeah, right . . . I am becoming increasingly good at lying about my age, which shocks me since I never thought I'd be one of "those" women who was bugged by such a thing. I think it's because I am used to being the young star in my profession/industry -- and recently I have noticed that they're now folks younger than me (but I am convinced I am still much cuter than they -- or is that the smug confidence from being, gasp, older?!)

Halloween -- Halloween is STILL a good Fall thing, right?! Shit, I am a homeowner now. So I asked my 75-year old neighbor (two houses down) how many kids to expect to come knocking And phuck if that didn't result if me walking out of Sam's Club this past weekend with $30 worth of candy. Sigh. I tried to buy stuff I do NOT like, so I am less tempted. But Halloween candy is a purchase requiring great thought and care -- you must buy candy that the kids like enough NOT to egg your house in retribution, but NOT so good that the lil' bastards make 3 and 4 trips to your door on the same night.

High school football must still be a good Fall thing! But my little brother (Lil' Bill) is now in college, which means I am required to make a few obligatory appearences at the midget football games of my baby brother (Mr. Chad) and Nate. I like football, and I love my baby brother and Nate . . . but damn, football games involving 11 year olds are downright painful.

Election season is now WORK for me, as my job requires attendance at A LOT of candidate fundraisers and cocktail parties, as well as coordinating the appearence of my Board members at these events in addition to what seems like ENDLESS golf outings. Don't get me wrong, I like this sort of thing. Hell, I excel at this sort of thing. But just because I am good at something and there is an element of "fun" to it doesn't mean it's not work. Cause it is. I get teased about this all the time by people, as if going to these things is screwing off -- hey, YOU try spending your evenings at these things, having 2-3 drinks in order to blend in, working your way past the 20 people standing around the candidate, persuading them about the merits of your issue/bill, and extracting a promise from them?! Not as easy as you think, I assure you. And on top of this, because I do this for a living, during my non-work hours EVERYBODY wants to "talk politics" with me. Gawd almighty, now I know how doctors feel at parties -- suddenly everybody has an ache or pain or mysterious ailment they want looked at.

Okay, what's left?! Oh right, CFM boots. Lemme think on this one . . . hmmm, um, well . . . okay, CFM boots are STILL a good thing when Fall arrives.

So I am sticking with my CFM boots. Girls, I missed ya -- hope to be sporting you soon!