Time For Presents!

Okay, so the past week or so has been a ROUGH one for me, for several reasons, and my girlfriends know it. And I wish with all of my heart I could shower them back with affection -- cause there aren't enough words or money for me to properly express my gratefulness for all that they have done to prop me up.

SO INSTEAD . . . I have decided to use this blog entry to send them virtual gifts, as a sign of my endless love.

Girls, here you go:

* ADRIAN -- a.k.a. ManHands -- For being the quirky, strange, yet glamorous, beautiful, cowgirl, I salute you with (quote inserted as to what I thought you would utter when opening the gift):

• "Oooh, ooh, Chrissie, I think I just saw another bird!"
• "Angels, I told him it was you two sluts who convinced me in the first place!"

* KIRSTEN -- a.k.a Chrissie, a.k.a. 2.0 -- For cheering me up, and cheering me on, and yet still being the materialistic b*tch I adore, you are receiving:

• "When I heard the fire alarm, I grabbed one of my twins, and LV, and dashed for the stairs. I think my husband grabbed the other twin."
• "I am 2.0, and have fans all over the world to satisfy. Now leave Mommy alone and go hassle Aunt Adrian - but watch out she doesn't crush you in the palm of her ManHand, and don't knock over Aunt Adrian's martini, whatever you do!"

* LORI -- a.k.a Coach -- For continually being the greatest treasure I have ever found, my closest friend, and the one woman I completely trust with all of my shit:

• "Oooh, Red Velvet . . . the South rises again!"
• "Sure, I'll help you shop -- and you deserve it!"
• "So long as we wind up in San Diego!"

* LISA -- a.k.a. Hamster -- For being supportive about me needing to cut ties with the past, and move on with life, and being an amazingly sensitive friend, who never fails to elicit a giggle out of me:

• "I know it's odd, but I just have this really strong urge to go there!"
• "Wait, ClooMan, what does YOURS say?!"
• "Let's Get This Slumber Party Started!"
• "ClooNNan, would you see to it that JOY gets one of these? Bob, too!"
• "Oh I'm UP for another round of surveillance! Now do we wanna get pizza or tacos to drop off? And remember, no meat on Mitul's delivery!"

* SANDI -- a.k.a. Pooper-Scooper, a.k.a. Inch High Private Eye -- For having the best ear and most comforting shoulder, for being witness to the wacky people who raised us, and always reassuring me that I am not crazy after all:

• "Just so long as your Dad or my Mom aren't driving us there!"
• "Wait, when are you going next? Can you hold Maya while I try on something?!"
• "I'm just gonna lie and say I had a kid not long ago and forgot to wear 'em."

Luckily for all of you, I will NOT hold you to writing me a thank-you note (though you all know you are dealing with "Queen of The Notes")! Just send me a lil' virutal token in return!

MWAH!!!!!!!!