FIELD REPORT -- Monday

Today was Napa Day!

But wait, first we must run Adrian's errands, like we are suddenly her assistants?! So after the post office and bank we set off for Napa. We lunch at Mustard's (yum), then head over to ZD. Decent enough for Adrian to purchase a good red, but not enough for Dr. J & I to make the financial leap.

Then we headed to Frog's Leap, a favorite of Adrian's. Well, it used to be, at least. Adrian did NOT like the decor of the tasting room (it was like Lands End meets Restoration Hardware). She hated the greenish color on the walls (I thought it looked like field moss, but WTF do I know?!) I think 99.9% of people would have found the relaxed, classy atmosphere of their tasting room charming, but not our ManHands. She hated it, and thus any chance of her enjoying their wine was promptyly ruined. Fair enough.

We headed off to Duckhorn. Ahhhhh! As soon as we walked in, Adrian KNEW it was gonna be good. The ambience was right for her, and this she relaxed. Thus, WE could relax, cause Ms. Home Decor Princess was happy. We settled in to try five wines, two of which we all liked very much. Then I saw one on the retail menu that was not part of the tasting menu. Sooooo, even though I was on vacation, I channeled my lobbyist charm, pushed up my cleavage, and asked the one male employee with reddish hair if I could "please just try a little taste of the Decoy?!" (cue me with big eyes, voice dripping with faux innocence yet laced with flirtation, and a slight toss of my own red hair).

It worked. C'mon . . . you KNEW it was gonna work. That is, after all, what I do.

So we tried the Decoy. Ahhhhh! Perfection! All three of us were sated! I wanted to run into the fields, drink a whole bottle of this wine, and just be silly. Mmmmmm.

All three of us now happily buzzed, Adrian decides we need dessert at Auberge du Soleil. It's a very high-brow kind of place, with gorgeous views. We choose several desserts and load up on ice water before we drive to Concord to meet Kirsten!!!!

Onward to meet "Chrissie," the other Charlie's Angel in our merry trio! OHMIGAWD! I am in "wuv" with my Kirsten! GORGEOUS TWINS!!!!!!!!!! (I am talking about her kids, Meg & Simon, now -- get your minds out of the gutter -- leave that dirty ol' man stuff to Dr. J!). And she is soooo pretty! Her hair is terrific! Adrian had us sit in a row and got Dr. J to take photos of our hair -- the contrast of red, blonde, and dark brown next to each other was "fantabulous" (Lisa, I am using "your word" again, darling!). Great idea, ManHands!!! The only thing missing was Jesse -- whom Kirsten, Dr. J and I have yet to meet.


Lines of the Day:

* Adrian -- "Oh, it's so pretty here. It's like a 24-degree view!"

* Adrian -- "Phuckingtastic!"

* Adrian -- "Excuse me, is there a cake-age fee here?"

* Friend of Drunk Guy -- "Sober up, dude!"

* Drunk Guy -- "I'm sober enough to know that I need to get out of this place. I am a selfish bastard. But phuck it, I am not as selfish as this bastard!

* Mahmoud Ahmadinejad -- "There are no gays in Iran. That is a phenomen unique to the United States."