Grief and Anger

I wish I still had my first blog, and could link to it, and the post I wrote about how among the thousands of innocent lives that were extinguished on September 11, 2001, was that of the extraordinary Father Mychal Judge.

I remain as angry as I was those first hours. I still weep with as much emotion and grief for those who perished, and those who were left behind, both their families, and the first responders and security personnel who lived this so intimately.

I still want thousands of scum, and that's what they are, SCUM, to be rounded up, tortured to within an inch of their lives, and made to suffer. And then I want God to deliver final justice to them.

Thank you, military service members and their families, thank you police officers, fire fighters, and EMS workers. You are always the first people I thank in my prayers, and I teach my little daughter to have the same respect. God Bless You all, and may God continue to Bless America!

That's My Guy!

I have been a fan of Congressman Peter King for a while. It's tough enough to be a Republican, let alone one on Long Island. But King is smart, says what he thinks, and means it. Which includes not getting caught up in the MJ-worship, especially as it clouded over the sympbolism of the Independence Day weekend.

Yes, I feel sorry for MJ's kids. Having watched my own daughter be terrified and consumed by grief, my heart aches for them.

However, I am standing by Congressman King and his remarks.

Let's roll the clip . . .

Thank YOU, Mr. President

I love Dennis Miller. Have seen him in concert, and just love, love, LOVE him every time I see his mug on t.v.

And he has summed up exactly what I am feeling to a "T," so I will leave it to him . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdiKiMcpV2U

Thank you, also, Mr. President, for your appointments to the Supreme Court, especially that cutie Chief Justice Roberts! Thank you for your deep commitment to the protection of innocent human life, in this regard.I did not vote for President-Elect Obama, for multiple reasons. But I fervently hope that he does a terrific job as our new President! I remain very concerned about the nominations he will make to the Supreme Court ('cause there will be 1-3 retirements, I am sure).

I am not a single issue voter. I am someone who used to be pro-choice, but in 2003 found myself being changed to a pro-life philosophy when it came to unborn children. It's an issue that a President has unique power over via his nominations to the courts. I know people like to wave the big ol' "oh, but rape and incest and and save the life of the mother" exceptions, but the truth is that every state law on abortion HAS those exemptions already, and they account for less than .01% of all abortions in this country (of which there have been something like 40 million since Ro.e v. Wad.e). I can understand why those exemptions exist.

As an adoptive parent, I think about this alot . . . all of those children, being extinguished. Then I think about the millions of couples in this country, so desperate to cradle a child in their arms, not caring where or whom or how it came about . . . just wanting to love it, wholly, completely, fully, forever.

I have held back many times on my other blog, as well as refrained from commenting on others, about this issue. I have comforted women who have had abortions. I have supported (with my own time and money) women facing unplanned pregnancies who chose to give life to their baby, and raise it. And I have moved heaven and earth (and crossed continents) to bring home a baby from another country whose birth parents could not care for her, but gave her Life, and then gave her up so she could potentially have (as they prayed) a better life.

So Mr. President-Elect, here is my hope for your term . . . while being so busy keeping us safe, and addressing the economic problems many people are facing, among other issues, please take time to always start with the foundation of what is truly important . . . caring for and protecting our most innocent citizens of this earth, and that is our babies. Both the born, and the unborn. Help cultivate a culture of Life. Encourage adoption domestically and abroad. Send the message to judges (even the local ones, through your leadership and pulpit) that as*hole parents who F'up even one time do not deserve to get their children back. Increase the adoption tax credit immediately (it's about $11,000 if anyone's interested - foreign or domestic). Triple the adoption tax credit if the adopted child is over the age of 3 years old, or if the child (at any age) has a medical issue (mental or physical or emotional). Double the yearly deduction allowed for children who were adopted, to demonstrate the ongoing commitment to having all children placed in loving and stable homes. Build Ta.j Maha.l type buildings where pregnant women can live if they need a place to stay, help them find the right adoptive family, and then offer them COLLEGE TUITION MONEY (or some other form of assistance) for giving birth instead of getting an abortion!

Oh, and just to head off any other comments on this, please be aware that Dr. J and I most certainly DID try to adopt locally through an agency, and were willing to bring home a baby that was born addicted to drugs, too (we were in the running for a 4 month old boy born with opiates in his system, but he was ultimately placed with another couple - so don't EVEN tell me that nobody wants babies born addicted to drugs. NOT TRUE!). In fact, AFTER we were matched with our Lil Pumpkin we were actually matched with two other children locally . . a 15 month old boy, and a 2 year old boy . . . but because we had already committed to Lil Pumpkin (and the caseworkers for these additional little boys were not yet aware of that), we were legally not allowed to bring either home (most agencies will only place one child per year in your home). But we HAPPILY brought home Lil Pumpkin, who was considered a "Child of Promise" (meaning she has a medical issue in need of some fixin'). And of course, Lil Pumpkin is an answered prayer. [Someone remind me of this today at 6 p.m. when she is workin' my last nerve].

Are my ideas going to magically make abortions disappear? Hell no. Might it be a start? Yes. Will it encourage adoption? I think so. Will I get flamed for expressing these views on my other blog? Probably. Do I care? Yes - I hope I don't, and that people will speak out in favor of my ideas and views. I have "walked the walk" via being an adoptive parent, and have the street creds, IMHO.

Good luck, President-Elect Obama. And listen to your Joint Chiefs.

Yep, Still Feel the Same

And they say time softens the blow. Hah.


I am watching the Hist.ory Chan.nel footage people recorded that day. Ya know, THAT DAY. And I still feel the same. I want to make sure every piece of scum is eradicated from God's green earth. I want them to meet Satan, after a prolonged amount of torture that begins by Marines, the NYPD, and the NYFD shooting them in the gawddamn kneecaps, then delivered the world's biggest ass-kicking, where they slowly die the most torturous of deaths possible, followed by eternal damnation, courtesy of The Big Guy, God.

Never Forget. Never.

Semper Fi.

I'm Back!

And I have a few observations to share (what a stunner).



Okay, here is what I miss about China:

• Housekeeping - not just the fact that your bathroom gets cleaned and the bed made, but that if you kid throws up on the bed in the middle of the night, all it takes is one phone call and a kind Chinese employee scurries your room and quickly changes the sheets, and with a smile! (This happened to us twice).
• The breakfast buffet each morning . . . Lord, I will always miss that scrumptious and bountiful spread. Pout!
• Co.ke Lite - their version of D.iet Cok.e
• How cheap the food is (and dee-lish!)
• The service we received EVERYWHERE - smiles, doors held for us, eagerness to please, attempts to speak English for OUR convenience, encouragement as we struggled with our new baby
• No job to attend to, no emails to check - just focusing solely on the baby
• How cheap and easy it was to have our clothes laundered, pressed, and meticulously folded whenever we needed it done
  

And here is what I love about being back home:

• I am no longer BAKING in the Chinese heat and humidity
• More than one english-speaking t.v. station (we were stuck with B.BC, too, ick!)
• Toddler-proofed house
• Better pizza
• Having our strollers available (the ones we spent endless hours researching)
• Finally having a baby in the room that has stood empty for far too long

Happy Birthday America!!!

It's the most important day of the year!

A deeply sincere thank you to our wonderful military, past, present, and those who have been "promoted to Heaven."

I was so inspired by local talk radio yesterday, as they discussed the topic of the 2nd Amendment, that I am feeling moved enough to make a contribution to the N.R.A.

:o)

Wa.l-M.art puts the squeeze on food costs

Yeah, so many people bitch and moan about W.al-Ma.rt, but THEY are doing things to help us with our grocery bill!!! And they are doing it in ways that are energy-conscious and capitalist-themed.

So SCREW YOU, haters!!!

Mo' Money, Mo' Money

Got our Economic Stimulus Rebate Check today. Yep, spotted in our bank account (I check it everyday online), and I promptly transferred it into savings. That, with our tax return, oughta fund 6-8 weeks of maternity leave.


I'd say "thank you President Bush and Members of Congress" . . . but it was our money in the first place.


So instead I will say "Thank you Dr. J" for having a social security number ending in a number that made us among the first to be eligible for receiving the moohlah.

Testosterone Weekend

My plan was to have a nice looooong workout at the gym last night, but the roads were pretty bad (snow would not stop) and since our town does not seem to ever bring out the plow or salt, I was concerned that if I stopped at the gym first, the side streets to our house would be impassable. Hence, I just went home (sliding along the way, thank you very much).


Dr. J and I are in "Cocoon Phase," as my beloved cousin Sandi calls it -- meaning we are kinda shutting ourselves off to outside influences, and trying to just be close to one another, and put our collective couplehood back on track.


Since his last two patients cancelled (snow fears), I told Dr. J to stop at the video store on the way home and pick up some stuff for us to watch. He brought home a couple DVD's with "24" episodes we have missed (we have been meaning to catch up before the new season starts).

So we happily settled in with Jack Bauer last night. There's nothing that we love more than t.v. or movies that have the government/military/terrorist-hunting/ass-kicking theme to it! And Jack Bauer is quite the bad ass. Of course, we also worship the characters Jason Bourne (movies) and Mitch Rapp (fiction by Vince Flynn), too. Sometimes we speculate WHO would prevail amongst these three manly men, depending upon the type of mission.



Last night we watched 2 hours of Jack Bauer. We have 6 more hours left, I think (and then more DVD's to rent to keep catching up). And tonight we are going to see "Vantage Point," a movie we have been looking forward to. We also have free movie passes, courtesy of a Christmas gift card from my mom.

LET THE ASS-KICKING COMMENCE!!!!!!!!

Black Weekend

In the spirit of all things American, we are supposed to shop, shop, SHOP this weekend. However, Dr. J still gets what I call "retails flashbacks," so we can never go full throttle. Also, we have the whole budget thing that keeps the padlock on the checkbook pretty tightly.

Nonetheless, we felt it best to venture out and play our part as good Americans.

And what did we buy? A new garage door remote system, so that we can re-program it in a way that we will now have TWO clickers to open it with.

And second, a new , inexpensive track light for our work-in-progress dining room, from IKEA. Please understand, with purchase of our house we inherited some NASTY light fixtures, the gawd-awful brass & frosted glass chandelier in our dining room being one of them. Ick, bleh! But after having so much fun with all of the couples we hung out with on Wednesday and Thursday, we decided we want to have people over to our house more often to entertain. And drink. And mock others, colectively.

Now I just have to find someone properly qualified to install it. Hmmmm.

Giving Thanks

When we gather for Thanksgiving Dinner at my cousins later on today there are a variety of games and traditions we engage in. One is called "the interview" in which you are privately asked answers to a series of questions about yourself, which are then read aloud later in front of the group (there will be 24 of us in all), and everyone tries to guess WHO it is. My cousin Bobbie is The Keeper of The Questions, meaning she composes them and keeps our answers in a special individual folder, so we can look back on years past.

The silly questions vary from year to year, but the FINAL question is always the same: "The Year is almost over . . . what I want to remember most is _______".

Last year Dr. J answered "Seeing my wife smile again." I know only half the people understood what he meant, but it did then and still makes me cry to think about it -- it was that touching of a moment.

This year I already know what my answer will be.

But thinking about "the Thanksgiving Interview" got me thinking about the spirit of Thankgiving in general. We should all pause today and give thanks for things, both big and small, that make a difference in our lives. So here is my list of things I am thankful for:

*All of the wonderful folks who make up the U.S. Military, as well as anyone who has EVER served. Without them, WE are nothing, and neither is anyting we cherish.
* The families of the above mentioned heroes. Thank YOU, for your important part, too.
* Father Mike, for helping me. Even if it will always hurt.
* All of my hilarious and divine second cousins . . . we partied Wednesday night for Zanne's birthday, and we will party tomorrow like the Pilgrims & Indians. I love yinz -- you open my heart to the holidays once again (which I thought no one could).
* My lovely, sweet, and increasingly blunt Lori. Please use the word "obnoxious" more often -- it totally cracked me up to hear you speak like that!!!
* My longtime partner in barely legal pursuits, My Hamster, and the best zany person I know . . . MY Lisa.
* Arlene & Joey . . . I can't put into words what you have done for us, simply by caring.
* Nicole . . . for using the phrase "that phucking cunt" like NOBODY else could! Damn, girl, I am glad you are on OUR side!!!
* HotMary . . . for teaching us all about self-value. And for the hickey story. Yeah, that was a classic moment. Oh, and Chinese food. And the importance of a man sending you flowers.
* Food Venues I covet: Franktuary, Dozen, Chan's, Amici's, Clarke's, Rubio's, Mahajarajajajaja (or however the hell it's spelled). Each of you has had a dee-lish impact on my life in the past year. And Renzo's, don't you think I have forgotten about you, hon -- you're on my "to do" list for late-December, sweetie!
* For November's $43 electric bill, $22 gas bill, a heated mattress pad, and my fluffy bathrobe. Gawd, I am goooooood!!!!!!!!!!!!
* My Boss . . . for believing in me, and sticking by me, even when things aren't perfect. Gawd, what a difference from "High School".
* Dr. J . . . for your endless reassurance. It helps. More than mere words could ever articulate. Its' effect is too profound and far-reaching for me to ever admit.
* For our DTC. Each day, no matter how good or how bad, is one day closer.
* And for the stupid t.v shows that make Dr. J and I laugh. A special "Shout Out" should probably go to VH1 for the "40 Most Softsational Soft Rock Songs," "Best Week Ever," and "Talk Soup."

Now go gobble gobble, dammit.

National Adoption Day

Saturday was National Adoption Day. I wish I had known about it ahead of time, so we could have done something more active to celebrate or mark the important occasion.

Here is some local press coverage, as well as link to additional information on the history of it.

It gets me so friggin' mad sometimes when people hear that we are adopting and immediately jump to "Well have you tried this _____?" (fill in the blank yourself, 'cause trust me, WE have heard EVERY suggestion under the Sun -- some so ignorant it would make a Buddhist monk lose their temper!)

It astounds folks to learn that "NO, we haven't tried ____" and we are NOT interested in trying "______". Really. It's the truth! We feel called to adopt, and have all along.

I recently had someone say to me "I'm sorry you have to go this route to become a parent." WTF?! I am sorry that we have had so much tears and grief and physical pain, but I am PROUD AS PHUCKING HELL that we are adopting -- that we are doing something moral and good and right . . . something that will be worth "all the tea in China," as they say. I am proud that we are trailblazers amongst our family and friends. I am even proud that people will be uncomfortable as we laugh and giggle in the park someday, as a transracial family ('cause there IS more to come, folks -- hullo, Brangelina!)

I wish people could get it out of their heads that adoption is somehow "second best," or a backup plan. It's so not. We always planned on adopting, and talked about it long before we ever began trying to expand our family (another thing that sets me off, the whole "when you have a family of your own someday" dismissive throwaway line -- PHUCK YOU assholes of the world, WE ARE ALREADY A FAMILY -- just one without living children at present!!!)

The only reason we pursued "trying" the old-fashioned way is because it's cheaper and lacks the whole judgmental quality of pursuing an adoption. THAT IS IT!!! I find it so amazingly selfish that people express a desire to have a biological child because they want said Fantasy Child to have their "wife's eyes" or their "husband's math skills" or whatever other dreamland bullshit they toss around. Even further nerve-grating is when these jerks are often the very same people who claim to be part of the "Go Green" movement, are anti-war at all costs, believe in a One World global vision, and chide Dr. J and I for having politically conservative views. You'd think these would be the very people who EMBRACE adoption, for a variety of obvious reasons. But nope, there they go, taking pity on us for adopting, insulting us purposefully and unconsciously, and failing to "walk the walk." Drives us insane, I tell you. I know, I am hardly known for holding back . . . but believe me when I tell you just how much I hafta hold back when someone makes yet another stupid remark.

So Viva National Adoption Day! Can't wait to be a part of it!!!

And to those of you who have been amazingly supportive of "Plan A" from the start . . . THANK YOU! You will rewarded, though not as much we ;o)

Happy Veterans Day!

Just a shout out to all the Vets, living and at rest . . . and a big ol' thanks :o)

Kid Rock and Ted Nugent

I love Ted Nugent. Not his music, though I believe he is incredibly talented. But I love Teddy 'cause he's so pure, so hard core, so unapologetic and full throttle! I get a kick every time I hear him on Dennis Miller or Glenn Beck's radio programs.

But I am proud of Kid Rock for what I read about him in the paper recently (New York Post's Page Six of all places?!), too:

Rock Takes A Shot At Penn

WE'D love to see a debate on the war in Iraq between Kid Rock and Sean Penn. Rock didn't name Penn in his interview with Penthouse magazine, but he seemed to be aiming at the actor when he said, "These kids [U.S. soldiers] are very young and a lot of them think people who oppose the war are against them. You have to be very careful with what you talk about - specially when you are some Hollywood [bleep]er. Just because you made a great movie doesn't make you are an expert on foreign policy." Rock spent Christmas with the troops and met then-Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, whom he defends. "I was at the White House drinking a Beam and Coke, shooting the [bleep] with Rumsfeld, when [President] Bush came by and gave me five like we were on Seven Mile and Van Dyke in Detroit," he told Penthouse. And Rock is a big proponent of firearms: "If it weren't for guns and people who know how to use them in America, we'd all be sitting around with swastikas saying, 'Heil Hitler!' "

09/11

People's memories are scarily short. Sometimes today I felt like I was one of only a handful of people who remembered that 3,000 people were phucking SLAUGHTERED on American soil on this day, a short six years ago.

Thank God I have a family and a few close friends who remain as angry and pissed off as I am, to this very day. And will be forever.


http://attacked911.tripod.com/

Happy 4th of July!

Nobody ever said it better, and today is the perfect day to listen to it over and over again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDecLiA_Qbw

I truly LOVE when men speak like this -- with conviction, purpose, and strength. They're not worrying about bullshit like offending pansies, pissing off the pundits, or seeming insensitive. Gawddamit, they are only interested in WINNING -- to preserve the American way of life, to keep us safe and sound.

LONG LIVE PATTON'S SPIRIT, AND THOSE OF MEN LIKE HIM!!! (soooo hot, as I am sure Adrian would agree!)

So everyone enjoy the YouTube clip, and/or read the words below, for a lil' patriotic pick-me-up . . . .

Be seated.

Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball player, the toughest boxer. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans.

Now, an Army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post don’t know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating.

We have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit and the best men in the world. You know, by God I actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against. By God, I do. We’re not just going to shoot the bastards, we’re going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We’re going to murder those lousy Hun bastards by the bushel.

Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Nazis are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do.

Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We’re not holding anything. Let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're gonna go through him like crap through a goose.

There’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what did you do in the great World War II, you won’t have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana."

Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle – anytime, anywhere.

That’s all.