Happy Father's Day (oh bee-have!)

I could take a few minutes to write about how Dr. J is such a wonderful father (he is), and how much Lil Pumpkin loves him (she does). But I don't think either of us will remember his first Father's Day for any of those sentimental reasons.

Instead, Dr. J will remember, for the first time, being thankful for Caill.ou, and how it captures Lil Pumpkin's attention completely.

So that WE could both have a few free minutes be upstairs while she was occupied downstairs. Which prompted us, for the first time ever, to utter the line "Just a minute, sweetheart, Mummy is, uh, helping Daddy with something upstairs. We'll be downstairs in a minute!"

[Cue the adult giggling and mad scramble to put back on our clothes, ("Where are my shorts?!") and return back to the first floor before Lil Pumpkin's inquiries escalated into wails].

Hee hee.

Oh, and here is probably our best verbal exchange of the day:

• Ms. J: "I forgot to get you a card. Hope you don't mind."
• Dr. J: "This is better. It has sound effects."

Get a Grip, SENATOR MA'AM!

What an idiot. Seriously, she is a fruitcake on may issues, but I am aghast that she would feel the need to direct an Army Brigadier General to call her "Senator." And then follow up with "It's just a thing, I worked so hard to get that title, so I'd appreciate it," . . . um, 'cause the Brigadier General didn't work, um, HARDER, to get HIS title?!


Lady, get your thumb out of your ass and wise up. Ever hear of military protocol?! It's not an insult* to be called "ma'am," especially in the military. It's a sign of respect and infinitely good manners.

* For the record, as long as it's being done with respect and/or affection (and especially if said by a man with a southern accent), I enjoy being called "Sweetie," "Honey," or referred to as a "girl".

WWCND?

We have been re-decorating (or trying to, at least) our bedroom. We haven't done squat to it since moving into our house over two years ago (that's sad, huh?!), and well, it's time.

In trying to be resourceful, but creative, I went into a fabric store (cue the scary music) to look for potential fabric for curtains. I ran across this "wall art" appliques and purchased an NYC city skyline for us to potentially put on one wall (looks great with a brightly colored wall behind it). It got me thinking to wall quotes that I have seen on some decorating sites. Now, normally I think these look good, but that people choose dumb ass, hokey, mushy quotes that essentially de-ball any man who portends to live in that abode.

So Dr. J and I got to thinking . . . why not put up an outrageous quote in our bedroom, that makes US laugh, and satisfies US?! Hell, it's OUR BEDROOM, and it's no supposed to be a crowdpleaser, just a WE-pleaser!

Which brought us to Chuck Norris (of course, LOL), and the awesome Chuck Norris Facts site. It's probably been a good year since we were on this web site, and damn, it makes us laugh so hard and loud every time!!! Seriously, it felt like old times as we giggled over them. So, yeah, we're being all low-rent and actually considering putting a Chuck Norris Fact on our bedroom walls. It's OUR room, after all. And if it puts us in a playful mood, and feel connected, then, well, isn't that The Point?!

(Think the Realtor will want us to remove it when it comes time to sell, LMAO?!)

T-6

Well, it's ON. Date Night, or DOUBLE-DATE night, is on!

I am not sure which I am more excited about . . . an actual DATE NIGHT for Dr. J and I, or getting together with our totally awesome cousins, "Dan" and "Nancy" (yes, there is the need to hide their identities, because of their occupations, just like Dr. J and I have to stay semi-anonymous to protect our public identities, too)?!

This will probably be more tame than some of our previous togethers for the simple reason that we are now all parents who, no matter blitzed or blasted we get, no matter how wild the night . . . we are STILL gonna have to be up bright and early the following day with our respective little girls. Sure, both of us couples' could easily get a set of grandparents to take our Little Princesses for the night - but I don't think either couple is yet ready for that (even if our daughters are).

Dr. J and I truly need some grown-up time, away from the bitching and moaning about shit having to do with the house & bills & the other awful responsibilities that come with being an adult. And we both are guaranteed some good laughs and family gossip via Dan, with Nancy there to validate and keep all of us hooligans in check.

Thinking back over the pre-parenthood days with Dan and Nancy inspired me to pull-up and re-post my favorite photo of Dan (which I took, after Dr. J and I duct-taped the dumb ass to his floor when he got smashed at his little sister's wedding reception). I am such a smart ass that the following year I actually framed this photo and made it a Bingo prize at our annual Thankgiving gathering (we play Bingo). How can you not look forward to seeing someone who provides you with this opportunity?! And for the record, Nancy was right there when we duct-taped her husband, shaking her head and saying "it's his own fault for getting this drunk."

Fittingly, we are going to the drive in to see the new movie, "Hangover." LMAO!!!!!!!!!

Back to Political Blogging . . .

It is complete bullshit that O.bama is allowed to get away with this. The double standard, the press corps hypocrisy . . . mind-boggling! Having worked for a quasi-gov't agency that was told by the Governor to use the phucked-up equation of "for every $88,000 in grant money, we count it as one white-collar job, and for every $44,ooo as one blue-collar job," and yet there were no REAL metrics demonstrating this, well, I understand all too well that the spew coming out of the Ob.ama Administration is utter, magical, bullshit.

Cue the unicorns and rainbows!

The Media Fall for Phony 'Jobs' Claims

Surburbia Sunday

My gawd, my husband expanded his yardwork repetoire. Call the media! Hey, I give him loads of credit . . . I was explicit when we bought this house, "I do not do yardwork nor home improvement." And I have stuck to it. Dr. J loathes the yardwork too, having been dispatched to do some of these chores for his mother as a youth (bad memories).

So, I hafta admit, the fact that he DOES do some of these things, well, I find it hot! Sure, I am gonna mock him without mercy, and treat him like the hired help (ooh lah lah), but it is sexy when a man does stuff around the house, especially when it's something outside of their comfort zone.


While Dr. J did the manual labor, I played lifeguard to our Lil Pumpkin, who played in her wading pool on our front lawn. (When she needed additional water added to it, I called for "the poolboy" to come fill it up, hee hee). It was a very white-trash/low-rent moment, as I was laying on our front lawn, sipping Chilean wine from a plastic cup (because I didn't want to risk breaking one of my beautiful Spiegelau bordeaux goblets), wearing my two-piece bathing suit, while monitoring our gorgeous Chinese ball of frenetic energy splash and jump around.

Dr. J managed to capture a relaxed, mellowed smile on my face, while I stiffled a laugh since our Lil Pumpkin had her sunglasses on upside down!

When I reviewed the photos he had taken, I figured out why "the poolboy/landscaper" had been so eager to photograph the Lady of The House . . .

Down boy, down! (But thanks for the flattering photography, nonetheless!)

Frank Discussions Among Family

My first cousin and I are very close, having been raised much like sisters. She has been an amazing source of strength to me, as well as a terrific example as a mother. And that's probably why years ago (15 years?), I took her recommendation when it came to selecting a dentist. Hullo Dr. Hot Brothers!!! One is beefcake hot, the other more preppy hot. When I was younger I was into Dr. Preppy Dentist (Dr. Jay), and she preferred Dr. Beefcake (Dr. Bryan). Now that we are older, we like both equally. Okay, more like COVET both equally.

So I just HAD to torture my cousin with the knowledge that I would see Dr. Beefcake today for a dental appointment.

The texting literally went like this ('cause I saved 'em on my phone):

• Ms. J: " I will have a hot man in my mouth later today - Dr. Bryan!"
• Cousin: "Enjoy sloppy seconds. I had him on Saturday morning for an appointment."
• Ms. J: "You are just a fluffer for him. He will be ready for the real thing at 5 pm today."

Ya gotta love family!!!!!!!!!!

By the way . . . I think I primped more in the bathroom just prior to being seen by him that I do before important business meetings, LOL!

And another by the way (since my beloved cousin reads this occasionally) . . . my mouth is ACHY tonight! Oh, Dr. Bryan worked me over good! (Um, that's because I forgot to go last year and he did lots of magic today with his special TOOL, hee hee). That means there was lots of scraping, people!

I could seriously go for ice cream right now (haven't I earned it?!) I would actively whine to my husband, who would dutifully go buy some for me . . . but he is upstairs painting our bedroom, and I don't wanna take him off task (and yeah, I know it's just a clever excuse to watch the game without me bitching about how the hockey season is too phucking long!!!!!!!!!!)

Two Outta Three Ain't Bad

As we drove to the local car dealerships for our Day of Hell, I told Dr. J I had three goals:

1. Drive home a new vehicle at the conclusion
2. Not feel like I had been ass-phucked at the end of the experience
3. Still be speaking to Dr. J afterwards

Two outta of the three goals were achieved. Wanna guess which was not???????

The first one . . . was not. BUT we made progress. And we even have a new dark horse in the mix, thanks to a chance meeting with the sales manager at the Toyo.ta dealership, who recognized us from church. Yippee!!! He gave us an additional option that we had not previously considered, and is on the lookout for end of the month rebates, financing options, and specials since we can wait a couple of weeks (but barely . . . seriously, the sounds being emitted by our shit-mobile on the way to pick up Lil Pumpkin were frightening).

By the way . . . two funny moments happened during the day. The first at the H.onda dealer, who was giving me a hard time bout the numbers n' all that. He asked Dr. J what he did for a living, and he replied "massage therapist" (we knew if he learned what Dr. J did, any leverage Ms. J had gained up to this point would evaporate - I am sure he googl.ed his name the moment we were out the door, though). Second funny moment . . . at the Toy.ota dealer when the sales manager recognized us from church and introduced himself, Dr. J quipped, "hey, does this mean we get the Christian discount?!"

Honey, I love when you are NOT trying to be funny . . . nobody makes me laugh like you do ;o)

P.S. I love you for agreeing to drive the color of that Hon.da F.it we test drove, those I still have doubts about your ability to not get your ass kicked over the color! But it sure was purrrrty!

Just So You Know I am Not a Total Bitch . . .

. . . I just emailed Dr. J (in response to something he sent me), that if he promises that the hockey season is over TONIGHT, I will happily buy Chinese food from our favorite place, sans bitching.

Hee hee. I just loathe the length of the hockey season. It's ridiculous.

Scared But Plugging/Perspective

Two new "hits" (as I call 'em) have once again knocked me back on my ass. One is a change in health insurance at my normally wonderful, big girl job - which could essentially cost me $1,250-$2,500 a year. The other is an out of nowhere (and undeserved) doubling of interest rate on my sole credit card (and I am a good customer, carrying a balance but not too big of one).

I had just started to feel like maybe, just maybe, things were settling down. Like we just might finally treading be adequately treading water. But I don't handle surprises well (okay, I handle them like a trauma victim who has been scared shitless, and I freak out and hyperventilate), and I literally have been on the verge of panic attacks all week. I actually had two in a row yesterday, and the lump that formed in my throat felt like I was being swiftly strangled to death.

Nothing, NOTHING, is more sacred to me than financial stability. Alright, first it's my kid's health and safety (but geez, that's the same for everybody). THEN, it's financial stability. Notice I didn't say financial "security," I have switched to "stability" as my emotional survival plan. I keep thinking I should be comforted by the fact that lots of people are having even harder times right now . . . but gawd, I don't give a shit. I care about MY shit, not their shit!!!

I am tired of the up and down feelings . . . one minute I am minute hopeful, one minute sad. One minute delighted, one minute exasperated. One minute re-charged, one minute rundown. One minute invigorated, one minute resigned. One minute treading, one minute slipping. LOL, if going back on anxiety meds would eliminate the trick I'd do it - but then I'd be bitching about the co-pay and the weight gain (which would in turn cause me to need to buy bigger clothes, and once again I'd have even NEWER shit to be upset about, yippee!!!)

I am trying (trying) to locate my lost balance, and put it back together. I see bits and pieces of it from time to time . . . Lil Pumpkin getting more independent, she is back to her regular self after some regressive weeks post-surgery, and she is much more comfortable with transitions. I am finding that I am doing a better job at working more efficiently within the hours I do have, and even managing (some days) to haul ass outta bed wee early and plunk onto the treadmill. It ain't perfect, but it's better. Dr. J is doing a much better job at keeping up on things around the house, and even semi-power cooking more than half of the time. We are close to resolving 1/2 of our car woes (please, Jesus!), and maybe, just maybe, our meeting with the bank manager will result in some restructuring that will result in: (A) me breathing, (B) Dr. J feeling empowered, and (C) less tension between us. I won't even hope for (D) some excess money to go out to (gasp) dinner on occasion, but if it happens, mazel tov!

The mantra that Deanna (who brought home 11 month old twin girls from China) gave me helps when it comes to Lil Pumpkin -- "think back not to yesterday, but a month ago, and see how things have gotten better, gotten easier, gotten more manageable. "

Now I just need a mantra to help me deal with my financial anxiety. Right now the best I can come up with is "Everybody else feels phucked, too. Please refill my wine glass!"

Speaking of which, we need to restock.

Apparently The Thief Didn't See the Value

I got a phone call from my boss on Mother's Day . . . over the weekend our offices were broken into, and whoever did it kicked open every office door (our individual offices have doors on them), and riffled through stuff, but they didn't take any higher value items (like computers or digital/camera/etc equipment), nor did they steal any credit card receipts/checks. Some loose change on people's desks and in drawers were taken, though.

My boss said he wanted to prepare me because I might have to take some time on Monday to clean up items that were overturned, tossed, messed up, etc. Okay, I am IN my office and, uh, yeah, I can hardly tell a difference. Probably because it was such a mess to begin with, LOL!

There were a few file drawers opened, but I am too cheap to leave loose change laying around that I am sure I disappointed the thief(s). The one thing that has me sorta cracking up (but sorta sad) is what is still in my desk drawer that has been there for, oh, well over a year now and I have never remembered to throw out (or donate to another woman) . . . a set of digital OV kits. LMAO!!!!!!!! I had to keep 'em at work once upon a time cause of the time of day I was testing. I actually remember the day the last time I used them, and had gotten that "Smiley Face" on it, and how that sometime within the next 24 hours we conceived our lost angel, Gabrielle. It has always felt a little wrong to throw out that kit (yes the pee strip was pitched, LOL), since it was something that connected me to "that time, that place."

Let me be clear . . . I never, NEVER, never want to go through that again. I never want to try again. What I have NOW, is sooooo much better than any child I could ever imagine. And infinitely more beautiful.

Mother's Day was yesterday, and it's the first time ever I was able to be a Mummy to what those in my world call a RLB (real live baby). And it was wonderful. SHE is wonderful. Right down to the part in church yesterday when the priest started to go a bit long on his homily and she stood up, spread her arms wide, and exclaimed "ALL DONE", making several rows of parishoners laugh.

Work Woes

I am now firm in my conclusion . . . I could spend the next couple weeks (months?) doing nothing but filing and re-organizing my 3 gazillion friggin' work emails and STILL not be done with it. I hate having to save every gawddamn email I get - but in the era of C.Y.A., and especially when you (1) work for an organization with several dozen folks on the Board of Directors; (2) oversee multiple committees; and (3) don't trust [and with good reason] backstabbing so-called "colleagues" at partner organizations, well, hence the email inbox that rivals the complaint line for the DMV.

In other news, anybody else taken part in a Webi.nar? The one I was on today was a bit unique in that we used our computers to pick up the live-video feed of the presenters, and listened to the audio through our phones. At my office I have audio on the computer, so I couldn't figure out why we needed to call in via a phone to get the audio separately?! Oh well. I assumed that, therefore, it was like other large calls in that you were only listening in, and it wasn't a two-way audio thing. Which is why when the presenter praised the name of a person I can't stand [see #3 in prior parapgraph] I said under my breath, "Oh phuck her!" Then about 15 minutes later I heard questions being asked of the presenter, and that was my first inkling that um, no, this wasn't a one-way audio feed. 5 minutes after that, my cell phone started ringing (with a music ringtone, a generic one though that comes with the phone), and people on the call giggled. OH PHUCK!!!!!!!!!

Luckily (gulp, I hope), nobody on the call knew it was my voice, and I will maintain complete deniability if ever asked about it. My reaction will be "What? No, I didn't hear that during the call! Who do you think said it?! Wow, maybe somebody was talking in the background in their office and had the phone on speaker?! WOW!"

It's been nearly two hours since this happened, and I haven't heard anything. In fact, I exchanged emails with one of the presenters, so I am thinking (praying) I am safe.

Changing ALL ringtones on phones, though, just to be safe.

Wha.t Not to Wea.r

Is it possible to watch this show (esp. several episodes in a row) and not feel like your own wardrobe SUCKS?!

Listen, I do NOT have excess money to spend on updating my wardrobe right now. I try my best to have a couple of work suits that flatter my body and look professional, a couple of flirty but professional dresses that can be worn for (work-related) cocktail parties as well as an evening out (LMAO) with my husband and/or friends. And a couple of tops that I can wear when running weekend errands with Lil Pumpkin that I am not too embarrassed to be seen in if (gawd forbid) I run into a high school ex-boyfriend or nemesis.

But watch this show and DAMN, I feel like fashion caca. I think I need to take $100 from our tax return and get thee ass to H&M and pick up a couple of mod tops to put under my work suits to jazz 'em up a bit, and a few blingy necklaces and earrings (now, GASP, if I could only remember to wear the blingy pieces when I fly out of the house to the office?!) I also am in DESPERATE need of a new pair of navy mules for my navy suit.

I think I need to just pick a date, tell Dr. J he is on Daddy Duty that afternoon, and drag either Lori or my own Mummy with me to force me to spend money on ME. Sigh.

I so depserately am trying to avoid that "Mommy Look" that happens to women. I want to be/stay a "Yummy Mummy." SIGH!

R.I.P.

We love you, Jonah baby.

We hurt for his grieving parents, Adrian and Noah, coast to coast. We also are sad for his big brother, Coach.

Wuv you, Jonah, forever.

Hospital Scatter Thoughts

I can't believe it's been this long since I blogged HER. Guess I have been too busy with the other blog?! Oh, I have been just a teency-weency busy with other shit, LOL.


Okay, since we spent 2 days at the hospital with Lil Pumpkin, a series of observations I have made, recorded here:

• Thank God for kick-ass cardiac ICU nurses, who stand up to 4th year residents and advocate (demand?!) that your toddler be given more pain medicine, rather than "wait 30 minutes and see how she is doing."
• Um, WHEN did the nurses get so YOUNG?! Dr. J noted that as Lil Pumpkin was sleeping, her saw her nighttime cardiac ICU nurse (hot Jackie) updating her facebook page, LMAO!
• Why is the word "twitter" so sexually charged?!
• After weeks/months of doing everything possible to make sure Lil Pumpkin didn't contract a surgery-delaying cold/virus prior to her scheduled surgery . . . my famed germ/ick/dirt-OCD sorta melted away in the hospital! I guess I just "let go and let God". Maybe. Probably more like I figured it was out of my hands at this point.
• Speaking of hands, GAWD, the constant hand-scrubbing and hand-santizing measures in place while our daughter was in hospital turned my hands RAW!!!!!!!!! How nurses keep their hands from chapping to the point of being bloody, I have NO friggin' idea!
• It's still VERY humbling to be at a Children's Hospital, and know that 95% of the other parents you see would WISH for your child's health problem . . . sure, it was major surgery, but it was "fixable," with her surgical outcome being that of normal life expectancy, no long-term restrictions on activities or diets, and no longterm medications. Amazing.
• I was so glad my Dr. Father-In-Law was there for LP's surgery - his watchful eye and reassurance kept all of us (including my own parents) more calm and in control.
• And finally . . . I think it's only fair that if your toddler pukes M&.M's on you, M.&M's that her father gave her less than 36 hours after having open heart surgery . . . well, I think it's only fair that MUMMY get to sleep in the reclining sleeper chair in her hospital room all night, while Daddy is forced to sleep in the upright chair. Cheers!

So Far, So Good

So I have managed 2 evening, and 2 bedtimes alone, (that means sans Dr. J) thus far. He left Thursday afternoon on his business trip. Back on Sunday evening!

I have been extremely nervous about him being away . . . partly because I have doubts about my ability to successfully solo parent for that amount of time, and partly 'cause I am a GIANT 'fraidy cat when it comes to staying alone. (And thanks, Adrian, for "The Call Is Coming From Inside Your House!" quips. Little bitch! Kidding, I love you, and your giant mitts that could squash me).

Actually, I could have used ol' ManHands tonight when I was drawing a bath for Lil Pumpkin. As I was testing the water to see if it was the right temp, I spotted A GIANT SPIDER on the wall of the shower. GIANT. (okay, it really wasn't giant, but if it's 2 inches it might as well be a phucking foot). I whimpered, admittedly OUT LOUD, but killed the intruder. And then I whimpered some more, and hurried off a text to three people who I knew would understand.

Why am I so nervous about being sans co-parent for 3.5 days? 'Cause (1) I am not used to spending THAT amount of time alone with Lil Pumpkin. Seriously, I think the max I have spent with her solo uptil now is 5 hours - that's partly because "Adoption Attachment Protocol" (yes, I am self-coining that) dictates that you do as much together as a core family unit as possible; and (2) I am nervous because LP has had like SIX "good days" in a row. She's a friggin' toddler! This means that at any moment she could swing into "Crank Mode" and have a total meltdown. Consider that these past six wonderful days came after a week's worth of I-AM-TODDLER-AND-I-DAMN-WELL-WILL-DISREGARD-THE-RULES-AND-MELTDOWN episodes, which included Lil Pumpkin forgoing her typical 2 hour afternoon naps. [cue the shuddering]. I realize to that (3) the childcare schedule we have with/for LP means that we tend to be with her in 4 hour solo shifts, max.

Why am I so nervous being sans man for 3.5 days? 'Cause (1) I have already admitted I am a 'fraidy cat. A house with hardwood floors does not help matters (hullo creakiness!); (2) My mind LOVES to play tricks on me; (3) the security system does not fully alleviate my fears (the loaded shotgun does more, thank you!); (4) I live in fear of spontaneous electrical fires occuring in my home. Okay, I live in fear of fires and burns in general [I have a smoke detector in EVERY room of our house AND a CO2 detector on each floor]. (5) Bugs and spiders put out an A.P.B. when I am sans man, and love to freak the shit out of me! And (6) my cooking phucking sucks at this point. And my Saturday plans and half of Sunday FELL THROUGH (was gonna be at my Dad & Stepmother's house), so now I gotta figure out WHAT THE PHUCK we are going to eat for three meals therein?! (I can handle breakfast, and probably LP's lunch, though).

Desp.erate Housew.ife? Hardly. I just like having a man around.

Thus far . . . LP has been a 9.5 out of 10. Bath & bedtime routine kept consistent, and she was actually asleep a bit earlier than usual! The warmer weather is helping, too (playing outside!)

Now if MUMMY could just relax and get some sleep, too ;o)

It's Not Really About Food, Folks!

All of the other cream puff photos were a little bit too vulgar (even for me). I will stick with this one ;o)

Tiny. Smug. Mine.

Dr. J and I had out first EVENING date sans-baby since becoming parents on July 28th of last year. REALLY. We (or is it me) had some separation anxiety since Lil Pumpkin has not ever had a bedtime without Mummy or Daddy (and 95% of time it's both of us) since we became her Forever Family. But she was with her Nan and her beloved Pap ("Paaaaaap!") and all went smoothly. It's usually a slam dunk when your kid falls asleep in the Dor.a ball pit at her grandparents house, hee hee.

It felt really good to be able to go out, all gussied up, for an evening with my husband. To make smart ass remarks about everything going on around us, and in that blessed "spousal shorthand" that nobody else gets or understands. To like the same things that others would scoff at (hullo, "crumbles"!), and be able to say to Dr. J the phrase "I can't be in that parking lot and you know why" and for him to immediately understand WHY, and not want to be there too. That's something we have learned over the past month -- that the serious grief we have endured has also binded/bonded us, albeit in a very odd way. The shared grief that tears us apart also makes us (still) reach out for the only other person who could possibly understand.

We remembered what it was like pre-baby, but agreed that the mundane chores of life are now the best things in the world, like going to Sam's with Lil Pumpkin . . . suddenly it's an event! And it's as much fun as a night out on the town, but with deeper smiles and far better giggles (though they belong to her).

So what was my favorite moment on Saturday Night? Probably when the hostess (great gal, BTW!) offered me a piece of chocolate cake and I politely declined. I did this because I don't really like chocolate cake, being a vanilla/yellow kind of girl. She assumed otherwise, and said "You are already so tiny anyways!" TINY?! Me?! Oh girl, I am SO lovin' you now for calling me tiny!!! And loving An.n Tayl.or Loft for the dress I purchased there that very afternoon. And even my inlaws for the gift card that allowed me to purchase said dress. And my husband for chasing after The Chinese Ball of Frenetic Energy on the indoor mall playground while Mummy shopped for said dress that made her look (and feel) tiny.

Best part of Sunday? All around another terrific day spent with Lil Pumpkin. But favorite moment came when my 22-month old CONNED me into allowing her a second lollipop while we waited in a long line at the deli counter. I finally gave in because she was being adorably persistent (normally she is stricyly limited to ONE mini-dumdum per day), and the SMUG little look she gave me when I gave in was priceless. Oh, she is SO gonna set the world on fire, no matter what she does in life!

Oh, and it was yet another weekend in which Dr. J and surveyed the other children we saw, and continually whispered to one another "gawd, why are everybody else's kids so UGLY?! Damn, OUR kid is gorgeous!!!"

And smart. And brilliant. And persistent. And funny. And stubborn. And dramatic.

And . . . MINE.

Jesse-time!

I haven't posted a Jesse-story in a while. Today's "Topic du Jour" among us (Dr. J and I) and the CA Crew (Adrian, Noah, Kirsten, Jesse) was bizarre work stories. As always, Jesse wins. So I am honoring by posting his story . . . .

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I have an employer story too. Not as good as Kirsten's naked-key story...

This was not my lawyer job. I was in Vegas with three guys we worked for the same company at a seminar/trade show type deal.

The boss, (my friend-"Joe") and a crew head "John" were in one room at the tropicana. I basically did sales and paperwork, had a room with another crew chief.

Joe, John, and I played blackjack all night across the street at New York, New York. Joe was talking to one nice girl at the table. We left Joe there with girl late..like 3 am before our 8 am seminar as scheduled. Next morning early (7:30 am) crew chief John calls me. says meet me in lobby...now..

I meet him, he says stay close. I say wtf? Did Joe score last night? He says yes he did. I said at your guys room? He says "Yes". I say with that girl from the blackjack table? He says "no":.

.."With two black hookers and a pile of coke...and now one of them is pissed he didn't pay wwhat he was supposed to pay or whatever and they both blew him and I am fukcin married and I do not need this shite and you are goin in there to help his ass out..."

Fukc

So we go in. Joe is in there unconscious. there are rolled up dollar bills and condoms allover the bed and table... we wake joe. Joe calls his sister (for whatever reason not his girlfriend) in Califonia to get her ass to the supermarket and wire him TWELVE HUNDRED BUCKS I find out there is no Wetern union at our hotel (how dumb for a casino) so we have to walk to NY NY to get it. Joes sister wants to talk to me. Fcuk.

She says what happened? I say we got out of line at a Blackjack table and they put Joe in jail. She goes to wire the money. Me and John and two ghetto ass black hookers walk in scalding heat across a bridge to NY NY . On the walk, the one better looking one is selling still to us "I don't just do this I like to fukc" you guys like to fukc?

i am the only single one and I am not touching it but they kept trying..gott give it to them for persistence...

20 minutes of garbage talk later, the money came. We paid them (too much I'm sure) and we skipped the rest of the seminar and drank.

What happens in Vegas...bullshite..

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Gawd, I love Jesse. I am gonna have to nag him for my scamming-on-unsuspecting-young-chicks stories. I especially miss the segments on Young Darcy ;o)

Chocolate Thoughts

Spending the night at the "sweetest place on earth," The Hershey Hotel. My first time here. Haven't seen much, and won't, as I am busy with a work-seminar for two long days. Disappointed in my hotel room . . . it's nice n'all, but fussy/formal looking, whereas I prefer modern and contemporary. And after the GIANT room I had at the Hotel Rouge a few weeks ago in D.C., this room feels a bit claustrophobic. I will give props to/for the shower pressure (and detachable head) and super-powered hair dryer - gawd, is my hair super-bouncy from it!

At least I am getting lots of free candy, right?! I have PLENTY to take home with me, and be a hero to Dr. J and my precious Lil Pumpkin.

It's also Dr. J's birthday today! Happy Birthday, Cookie! (Sorry that we have to postpone celebrating the occasion until Saturday).

It strikes me as a bit comical that I am surrounded by so much chocolate on the first day of Lent, since many Catholics give up chocolate for Lent, LOL. I have never given up chocolate, since it's not much of a temptation for me. I like chocolate (esp. white and dark), but in small quantities.

What should I give up for Lent??? Let's consider typical things given up by Catholics . . .

• Diet Coke/Hot Tea (caffiene) -- yeah, as IF! If a warm bottle is a staple for a toddler, then caffiene is Mummy's "must have"
• Swearing -- fuck that, and fuck those who give it up
• Television -- uh uh, a non-starter - I'd rather give up sex
• Sex -- I could probably give it up for 40 days, but c'mon, does The Lord REALLY want me to do that (I think not)?!

I guess I have some more thinking to do on this. In the meantime, I shall ponder the situation as I luxuriously and greedily pop a Hershey's miniature dark chocolate in my mouth, and savor the taste as it melts on my tongue!