It was HotMary who told me that I needed to change how I lived my life. She said I needed to insert a big ol' heaping dose of "It's All About Me" into what I do, what I accept, and what I expect, from myself and from those around me.
Shannon agreed.
Lori thought it was brilliant.
And so I have tried to adopt that as much as possible (which is still kinda hard, because I am not a selfish person, and have a hard time letting anyone do for me, or take care of me). I admit, there are times when it feels good, albeit strange, and sometimes I get this out-of-body feeling like I am watching myself in amusement from across the room.
So why, is LORI making it so damn difficult to COMPLY with the adopted mantra?!?!
No, it's about her boyfriend's car, her job responsibilities, the Boards she sits on, yadda yadda. We have been trying to get together for what feels like ages . . . but things keep cropping up, and she keeps having to reschedule. AND IT SUCKS! I miss my girl. I miss the chickie who never flinches when I weep, who doesn't at all think it's frightening when I can compartmentalize my feelings and move from sobbing tears to complete confidence in less than 60 seconds. I miss the frenetic conversational jumps from fashion to reality t.v. to money to sex and back again.
So, here I am, publicly giving you, Ms. Bride-to-Be, all sorts of shit about being too busy for ME!
Dammit, it's supposed to be ABOUT ME -- so shelve your other shit and concentrate on what's important -- ME!
And now, I will pull out my final secret weapon, to make you feel really bad, Ms. Oh-So-Busy . . . I give you THE POUT (and note the adorable Asian baby face that is pouting -- that's no accident, ahem!)
I hope you feel REALLY GUILTY.
[You know I love you. Big time. Lots. The Most. And I still win. And you know it.]
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