Year in Review

Ugh, I can't believe it's time to do this. Again.

But I am big on tradition and introspection (however phucked up both may be), so I will once again write out my "good/bad/learn" list. What kinda sucks is that I thought LAST year was bad. And yet THIS year actually managed to eclipse last year's, in terms of suckiness. Which again, has me shaking my head and wondering why I pushed so hard to leave "The Land of Fruits and Nuts and Flakes." So, to Dr. J, I preface by saying, with great sincerity, "I AM SORRY" for insisting that we leave Kal-ee-forn-yah. I thought moving back east was the right thing to do. Clearly, I was wrong. If I could take it back, and move back, I most likely would. Who knows, maybe we will in a few years.

Anyhoo, here's Da List . . .

WHAT WAS GOOD:

1. Dr. J taking the risk of starting his own practice. It took serious balls, and I am proud of him; and for his constant reassurance that I am okay, doing okay, and will be okay.


2. Nicole's wedding.


3. Second cousins. Dave & Natalie, Emily & Rob, Dana & Nick, Bob & Bobbie, Zanne, Beth & Joe, Julie, Buzz & Kathy . . . you have no friggin' idea how much I look forward to each and every moment I spend in your presence! You came back into our lives a few years ago to help me out when I could no longer care for my Mom on my own, and have taken care of me along the way. YOU ALL ROCK!


4. My job. I worked hard for it, and appreciate the gift it is every day.


5. Meeting Kirsten in person (finally). And all of her amazing and insane emails.


6. Adrian's liquid hospitality. And her throw pillows.


7. Lori met the love of her life AND got engaged -- all in the same year! Finally, something I prayed for gets answered by God.


8. My Dad started to get healthy. Holding my breath it spills over to other parts of his life, too.


9. Seeing Cirque du Solieil. Three Cheers for the "O"!


10. For Hamster texting me at the right time. And offering to bitch-slap The Cow.


11. L.I.D. 11/14/07!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT WAS BAD:

1. Watching my husband continue to be treated as a second-class citizen by the LILT (Long Island Looney Toons).


2. Endless doctor appointments and painful procedures.


3. The shock of home ownership incidentals.


4. Hot Tub Foliculitis.


5. Car problems on the way back from D.C.


6. Irresponsible parents. My own, especially.


7. The horrifyingly stupid things people say when you lose a baby. It's astounding. Even after three babies it still cuts me to the core.


8. Stupid local politicians. And stupid state-level ones, too.


9. Being scared that I am going crazy, and effectively being unable to do anything about it.


10. Self-imposed poverty.


11. Losing Gabrielle.

WHAT I LEARNED:

1. Naval Academy graduates can be quite kinky (who knew?!)
2. Dr. J is a magnet for fainting strangers.
3. HM can be horrified by bad fashion and bad taste.
4. The expiration of a Notary's commission is a matter of national security, apparently.
5. I can move a passport out of backlog, to the front of the processing line, and overnighted to my home in a matter of 18 hours. Or rather, I know people who can, which is equally important!
6. Fergie's sage advice "If You Ain't Got No Money Take Yo Broke Ass Home", which has inspired HotMary and mine's semi-serious motto of "Upgrade!"
   
7. Sandi is the best listener I know, and her gems are invaluable.


8. Lori never thinks I am insane, even when I do.


9. Dr. J's godparents are the best people I know. I'd give anything for them to adopt me, or even just him.


10. Nobody loves the ugly, scary, mean & weak parts of me. Except for Dr. J.


11. It will happen. I can make it happen. I can move mountains . . . of paperwork.

WHAT I AM GOING TO TO DIFFERENTLY (a new category!):

1. Finish and begin checking off things from the "Distract" and "Prepare" lists.


2. Make an honest, active effort to be more positive.


3. Recommit to taking better care of me. Which means 10 more pounds to shed -- not 'cause I need to, but just for the hell of it.


4. Strive to keep my office tidy.


5. Be more fun. More bold.


6. Laugh more.


7. Try to make up with God.


8. Force/explain to members of the local posse that I need to have "standing dates" with them (Lori, Lisa, Sandi, Shannon #2, Shannon #3, HotMary -- this means YOU, chickies!)


9. Invite people to our home, instead of keeping them at arms length.


10. Keep my mom and stepfather a bit more at arms length.


11. Stay focused at work.