Thursday, January 31, 2008
It's Back!!!!
WOW, great episode! Tonight's episode was "Hurley-centric." Hurley is not one of my favorite characters, but the episode was still terrific.
I am beginning to think that part of the reason I have been pissy at night lately is due to lack of fresh television, courtesy of the phucking writer's strike. GRRRRR!
Seriously. t.v. is one of my essential food groups. I loooooovvvvve watching all of my shows, and "Lost" (which I resisted for a while but finally submitted to and got hooked on) is at the tippy top of my Must See T.V.
Now all I need is an episode featuring my fave bad ass, Sayid, or my beloved couple, Sun and Jin.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Love a Song / Love Song
He'd text "Rusted Root." I'd send back "Coolio." He would fire back "Jewel -- love her." Then I said "Sting -- saw him in concert back in mid-late '90's, gawd I feel old!" He made me feel better by saying The Police debuted his freshman year of college.
Sometimes I fall in or out of love with songs. They might hit close to home and heart on that day, or might just take me back to a time or place in my life. I know that I keep listening to the same songs when I am at the gym, LOL, and probably would be openly mocked for them. I don't care, I know people who have The Wiggles on their Ipods! Or Disney songs (ick, egads, kill me now!)
When I got back to office from my mid-day Victoria's Secret run (needed bra for big event I am going to this Friday), I dialed up Yahoo Music on the computer, and stumbled across a new song I am truly digging. Yahoo Music is good for these -- trying out new stuff, randomly, based on the styles of music and artists you click off when you create "your station." So anyhoo, I am loving, for the past 30 minutes, this song by Leona Lewis called "Bleeding Love." And her lyrics are terrific! Will probably be downloaded onto my Ipod Mini tonite.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Gym Sum (keeping me honest) -- belated
Without further ado, my total for last week was: 3 hours of cardio. Not bad, considering my schedule constraints.
I am already off to a good start for THIS week, with 2.5 hours under my belt. I hope to hit gym again on Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday, aiming for total of 6 hours of cardio. We shall see!
By the way, a special shout out to the cutie pie 14 year old redheaded girl at the gym tonight who loaned me her pink hair band when my snapped and broke. I was pulling my hair back into a low ponytail when it happened. I screamed "shit!" really loud in the locker room. Thankfully, she came to my rescue. Without a hairband (I had no spare in my gym bag), it would have completely derailed my workout -- I HAVE TO PUT MY HAIR UP when I work out -- I simply sweat too much (esp. my head) to not do so.
Okay, back to paying attention to the State of the Union Address!!!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
23 Things - check off Dozen Bake Shop
Friday, January 25, 2008
Words Not Always Enough
I am glad she reached out and let me know. Gawd knows how many manic & panicked emails I have sent her.
But I feel so helpless right now. She lives 2,500 miles away. I would give anything to have a private jet so I could rush out to my "2.0," so I could buy her a new Louis Vuitton, and stuff our faces with ice cream. Or just stroke her silky black hair (we joke about how men think hot women comfort one another by playing with each others hair).
I wanna wrap her up in a big hug, and tell her that what she is grieving will never be okay, and it will always hurt . . . but I then would whisper in her ear that I will always be ready to listen to her grief, and that I will never get tired of it, no matter how many times she needs to bring it up.
It's what I'd want someone to say to me.
2.0's pain is excruciating, and haunting. And it made me take down a prior post, because I love her enough that I don't want anything I have written (though completely undirected at her), to cause her any pain.
I just want to love her and reassure her and slow down her swirling mind.
It's what I'd want someone to do for me.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Take THIS, Bitches!!!
A Day Just Like Today
Though we have been married 4 years, we have been a couple for 15 years today (yep, it's also the anniversary of our first date, too).
Geez, we have had a rough year. But we're still standing. Though sometimes we might be leaning on each other to keep from falling down.
Which is part of the reason why I thought I'd surprise Dr. J with an unusual gift.
It's funny, strange, bizarre, odd. Kinda like us. I expect we'll have a blast :o)
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
I Am Sydney Ellen Wade
So I was on the phone with Kurt yesterday (ahem, that's DOCTOR Kurt to the rest of yinz, though I call him "Sweetums," a pet nickname that goes back to our high school drama . . . and yes ANOTHER doctor 'cause, after all, I know what type of men to pine after) . . . anyhoo, after teasing Kurt about the fact that he had just finished a long day of back-to-back surgeries, I mentioned that I was in-between meetings and just changing into a cocktail dress so I could attend an evening happy hour and banquet. He teased me back about that, and then confessed, "I have no idea what you do."
I launched into my usual spiel about what I do, how I came to it, yadda, and then Sweetums had this fantabulous EUREKA moment and exclaimed in a very excited voice, "YOU'RE SYDNEY ELLEN WADE!!!"
Okay, well, she was working on federal issues, and I spend more of my time on local, with a smattering of state and federal mixed in. But OMG, now I had something pop culture-tangible in which to offer to my confused family and friends regarding how I make my living!!!
So I quickly said back to him, "Yes, I am Sydney Ellen Wade. Only without the whole phucking the President thing. I'm not saying I wouldn't phuck a President, and I would had he looked like the Michael Douglas of THEN, but now he's got this skeltor-chicken neck thing going on, so probably not. Wait, oh yeah, so I'm Sydney Ellen Wade. Thanks!"
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Gym Sum
Soooooo, this week, despite my out-of-town business trip and the theatre tickets, I am proud to report I worked out 3 times, for a total of 4 hours of cardio.
Next week will be more of a challenge, since I will be on another biz trip for nearly 4 days AND have agreed to meet Lori for drinks after work one night (but I think since meeting Lori for drinks can fall under the category of "mental health" it's worth it).
YEA for me :o)
Dear Ol' Dad
This fact, coupled with financial frustration, wanting to smack my mother and stepfather, stoo-pid inlaws ("outlaws"), and the slooooow tick-tock of the calendar have all been swirling in my never still brain, culminating in a level of anxiety that is frightening.
So as much as I was looking forward to meeting up with my Dad late this morning for coffee/tea, I was expecting the inevitable "relax, Babes, it'll all be okay" mantra out of him, which would probably wind me up even tighter.
But surprise of surprises, he did no such thing. Damn if he hasn't been changing a lot over the past year, finally recognizing that I am not am alarmist but truly struggling to not either (1) go insane or (2) throw in the proverbial towel completely.
I truly think that the last-ditch effort he had to undertake to get healthy has a profound effect on him. He listens to me so much more, I mean really listens, and offers actual constructive advice and support. He reminds me to trust my judgement and decisions. It's amazing. I used to hate to let Dad see any bits of weakness in me, 'cause he is so strong. But after the incredibly difficult past couple of years of self-destruction he put our family through (and remember, I was getting the simultaneous implosion of my mother, and now she & stepfather with their latest phuck-up a few days before Christmas), my Dad has begun to emerge as an altered person.
I felt a lot better after meeting with him today. He wasn't rushed, he wasn't distracted, he wanted to reassure me and my choices. And he shared with me a really important bit of observation/wisdom, which I know I will carry with me: "People always want to give you an easy or superficial fix to what is a complicated problem. They think THEY know better. They don't."
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Three Rivers Runs Through It
I loooovvve Second City, having seen them perform in Toronto when I was 17 years old.
So we journeyed into The Big City (lol) for the performance of Three Rivers Runs Through It.
It was really fun! Lots of laughs, with a local spin on it. But the best was the improv at the end, which is always my favorite.
Definitely something we should do again soon (both parts, ahem).
;o)
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
RANDOM . . . times two?!
Two people from my past each sent me an email. Both came from people who were incredibly important parts of my life. I have laughed, cried, and loved both of them. Deeply.
And both emails rocked me to my core.
One has me sad, angry, confused, and scared -- not sure if I can trust again, if I can move past the hurtful words that were said, if I have the emotional energy (or even the want) to re-establish the relationship, even on a polite acquaintance level.
The other email touched me so deeply I could hardly speak. The words hit a spot so buried in me that I didn't think it was possible to have another human being find that spot, let alone give it voice. I should have known better. He always has.
So, as the kids are fond of saying nowadays . . . "whoa, random!"
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Gym Thoughts
Now, I will never make fun of anyone who finally makes the decision to get off their ass and take charge of their health and weight by exercising. Good for them! (And, from a health insurance rate standpoint good for ALL of us).
However, there is one part of the New Year's phenomenon which never ceases to amaze me. WHY, do men who look, oh say, 14 months pregnant, spend so much time lifting weights at the gym -- especially when it's clear they haven't hit the gym within the past decade? And yet there they are, doing the nautilus arm weights with all sorts of determination! Granted, it is appropriate to do a bit of weights when trying to lose the fat, for toning purposes. But people, c'mon, spend the time on the treadmill or the bike for gawd's sake! Based on the looks of ya, you need to burn calories and fat, not build muscle mass. I suspect that these guys spend so much time on the weights because they are SO out of shape that they simply can't keep up even a moderate pace on the treadmill, and/or are afraid of looking silly. But then again, looking silly is a big reason (along with feeling intimidated) that women tend to steer clear of the free weights.
Anyhoo, back to me.
This week I am pleased to report that I logged 4.5 hours of cardio, lifted weights 3 days, and did my sit-ups on 4 days. I would have had another hour of cardio in there had my gym been open New Year's Day. I have been upping my cardio by about one-third over previous weeks, in an effort to kick start my system into losing a few more pounds. This, along with "getting strict" (as I call it) with my food intake (which is already quite healthy) should help me knock off a few pounds, and hopefully get me closer to my 2008 weight loss goal of another 10 pounds. Damn, that'd be awesome, to brag I've lost 80 pounds! (Though already being able to honestly claim a loss of 70 feels good, too).
Thursday, January 03, 2008
I . . . WANT . . . MY . . . 2.0. NOW!
It has sucked big time having her gone. I hate it, hate it, hate it.
The whole gang seems to have lost its magic -- the mojo is just ABSENT without our Chrissie here to keep us trudging along.
If ManHands brought us all together, it's 2.o who is the social secretary of the gang.
2.0 -- I WUV YOU AND MISS YOU. Dammit. And so does Louis Vuitton.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
No Diggity
I need to send this to my girlfriends, so we can, uh, "talk amongst ourselves."
Is Your Sex Life Normal?
A few comments I am willing to share enough to have public . . .
- Length of average sexual encounter -- um, 3-10 minutes?! I know it's true, but I also know that I wouldn't put up with it. Uh-uh. And if YOU are putting up with it (beyond the occasional torrid quickie), then shame on you, 'cause you deserve your likely boring, uninspired sex life.
- Favorite sexual position -- I concur, men like it that way, and women like it the other. I recently read that men like it this way because it has something to do with seeing themselves, um, enter the playground. I asked Dr. J, and he nodded appreciatively, as if finally somebody understood a man's sexual proclivities, and said a slow "yes." And then guess what he wanted to do? LMAO!
- Number of Times a Week They Are Having Sex -- What a riot! People are NOT having that much sex, ROTFLMAO! Not unless they fall into one of the following categories: crack whore, porn star, Ron Jeremy, or on their 6th month of trying to conceive. Really, this is such a joke!!!
- Playing Around -- is it really that high? The sociology major in me wants to see the survey questions, to see what qualified as such. If it's true, eh, can't say I am surprised.
- Being a Better Lover -- (1) YES, WE WANT MORE EROTIC MASSAGES IN BED! Dammit, I can't tell you how frustrating this is for women! My Chickies and I feel like we ask, hint, beg, plead, suggest, yadda, for this all the time -- and you guys either ignore it, or downplay it. Men of the world, hear us loud: if you put the time in with a good, erotic massage, you will get laid better and more regularly! And one more thing, a 5 minute backrub is not enough -- put the minimum 15 minutes in, 'cause that's how long it takes us to transition. Light the candles, put on some jazz or sexy music, and pour us a drink . . . and then commence the massage . . . yes, we like the occasional "crazy, can't get enough, I need you bad" sexfest. But sometimes we need it the other way, too. And (2), girls, men love oral sex. No matter how much you think they like it, they probably like it twice as much more. Give a little to get a little.
- Phone and E-mail -- okay, yes, I have answered the phone, even texted, while in the sack. I wouldn't tolerate if Dr. J did it. Call me a hypocrite.
Damn the power of suggestion. Now I'm horny.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Venture Outdoors
I have long enjoyed exercising outdoors, and this interest was nutured by our years in Kal-ee-forn-yah. Yosemite, Big Basin, and other points throughout the Santa Clara Valley were favorites of mine. Over the past year I have attempted to rekindle my surprising hobby. I say "surprising" because most people seemed very surprised that I loooovvve to go hiking (urban or rural), because it typically involves bugs, dirt, and other critters -- none of which I enjoy. But I truly love getting in some exercise minus the treadmill, recumbant bike, or ArcTrainer. The crackle of the twigs, the natural terrain, the cool or even crisp air -- it's all good, baby! And it feeeeeels so good, too! The rush afterwards is amazing. Even better than the post-gym feeling, at least for me, in terms of feeling re-centered, achieving zen, and doing something unique.
So while I sorta knew that Venture Outdoors existed, I was really surprised to investigate their web site this evening and find out just how many cool offerings they have -- PERFECT for my taste, my schedule, yadda. This is JUST what I need! I often want to check out new hiking venues, especially since our region is blessed with so many opportunities, but typically feel overwhelmed in narrowing my choice or finding a trail that suits my wants. But Venture Outdoors seems to take care of all of my qualifications and make the selection easier.
I am so psyched!!! I think we will try out one of two of their offerings, and then, if all goes well, join the organization and thereby receive the discounted rate on future outings.
I am happy (closet nature lover that I am -- but shhhh, don't tell Adrian!)
24 Things
The "Prepare List" is on the other blog, and will stay there.
But this blog, and this new year, is about putting the fun back in my life -- along with a big whopping dose of creativity to accompany each item as it's checked off the list.
We continue to take ideas, suggestions, and recommendations from our cadre of supporters who understand what we are trying to do, and more importantly, why we need to do these things.
Here's what we have thus far (NOTE: we reserve the right to edit, alter, and make any other changes as we deem necessary):
- Go shooting with the Air Marshal
- Hear John Williams' music performed live
- Go sno-tubing (DONE -- 02/09/08)
- Learn to curl with Hamster & Da Weeter
- Skate in Bryant Park
- Go to NYC for Fleet Week
- Pick fruit/veggies locally (in addition to our annual apple-picking trip to Wooster, Ohio)
- Host our own game night for The Second Cousins
- Organize the Posse, Second Cousins, and Other Grown-Ups for a night at the Drive-In
- Renew our vows (DONE -- 02/10/08)
- Find a charity that we feel passionate about, and become involved with it
- Go horseback riding (gawd, I miss doing that!)
- Paint our bedroom (okay, get somebody to do it -- anybody other than me)
- Finish the dining room
- Run a 5K (no snickering, this is not easy for someone with asthma -- I get plenty of exercise, but running has always been a physical challenge that has me reaching for the inhaler)
- Hike Central Park
- Donut Day
- Spy Day
- Attend Taste of Pittsburgh (have gone twice before and LOVED it!)
- Attend the Frank Sinatra/Dean Martin tribute show held periodically at a restaurant in our town
- Kimbolton with The Second Cousins (February 2008)
- Attend the grand opening of Dozen Bake Shop -- ahem, WE are on the V.I.P. Invite List!!! (January 2008)
- Kung Fu movie night w/Lori & Jay at the local movie theatre, for which we will sneak in booze
GOTTA COME UP WITH ONE MORE, LOL!
Help us, people?!?!?!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Year in Review
Ugh, I can't believe it's time to do this. Again.
But I am big on tradition and introspection (however phucked up both may be), so I will once again write out my "good/bad/learn" list. What kinda sucks is that I thought LAST year was bad. And yet THIS year actually managed to eclipse last year's, in terms of suckiness. Which again, has me shaking my head and wondering why I pushed so hard to leave "The Land of Fruits and Nuts and Flakes." So, to Dr. J, I preface by saying, with great sincerity, "I AM SORRY" for insisting that we leave Kal-ee-forn-yah. I thought moving back east was the right thing to do. Clearly, I was wrong. If I could take it back, and move back, I most likely would. Who knows, maybe we will in a few years.
Anyhoo, here's Da List . . .
WHAT WAS GOOD:
- Dr. J taking the risk of starting his own practice. It took serious balls, and I am proud of him; and for his constant reassurance that I am okay, doing okay, and will be okay.
- Nicole's wedding.
- Second cousins. Dave & Natalie, Emily & Rob, Dana & Nick, Bob & Bobbie, Zanne, Beth & Joe, Julie, Buzz & Kathy . . . you have no friggin' idea how much I look forward to each and every moment I spend in your presence! You came back into our lives a few years ago to help me out when I could no longer care for my Mom on my own, and have taken care of me along the way. YOU ALL ROCK!
- My job. I worked hard for it, and appreciate the gift it is every day.
- Meeting Kirsten in person (finally). And all of her amazing and insane emails.
- Adrian's liquid hospitality. And her throw pillows.
- Lori met the love of her life AND got engaged -- all in the same year! Finally, something I prayed for gets answered by God.
- My Dad started to get healthy. Holding my breath it spills over to other parts of his life, too.
- Seeing Cirque du Solieil. Three Cheers for the "O"!
- For Hamster texting me at the right time. And offering to bitch-slap The Cow.
- L.I.D. 11/14/07!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT WAS BAD:
- Watching my husband continue to be treated as a second-class citizen by the LILT (Long Island Looney Toons).
- Endless doctor appointments and painful procedures.
- The shock of home ownership incidentals.
- Hot Tub Foliculitis.
- Car problems on the way back from D.C.
- Irresponsible parents. My own, especially.
- The horrifyingly stupid things people say when you lose a baby. It's astounding. Even after three babies it still cuts me to the core.
- Stupid local politicians. And stupid state-level ones, too.
- Being scared that I am going crazy, and effectively being unable to do anything about it.
- Self-imposed poverty.
- Losing Gabrielle.
WHAT I LEARNED:
- Naval Academy graduates can be quite kinky (who knew?!)
- Dr. J is a magnet for fainting strangers.
- HM can be horrified by bad fashion and bad taste.
- The expiration of a Notary's commission is a matter of national security, apparently.
- I can move a passport out of backlog, to the front of the processing line, and overnighted to my home in a matter of 18 hours. Or rather, I know people who can, which is equally important!
- Fergie's sage advice "If You Ain't Got No Money Take Yo Broke Ass Home", which has inspired HotMary and mine's semi-serious motto of "Upgrade!"
- Sandi is the best listener I know, and her gems are invaluable.
- Lori never thinks I am insane, even when I do.
- Dr. J's godparents are the best people I know. I'd give anything for them to adopt me, or even just him.
- Nobody loves the ugly, scary, mean & weak parts of me. Except for Dr. J.
- It will happen. I can make it happen. I can move mountains . . . of paperwork.
WHAT I AM GOING TO TO DIFFERENTLY (a new category!):
- Finish and begin checking off things from the "Distract" and "Prepare" lists.
- Make an honest, active effort to be more positive.
- Recommit to taking better care of me. Which means 10 more pounds to shed -- not 'cause I need to, but just for the hell of it.
- Strive to keep my office tidy.
- Be more fun. More bold.
- Laugh more.
- Try to make up with God.
- Force/explain to members of the local posse that I need to have "standing dates" with them (Lori, Lisa, Sandi, Shannon #2, Shannon #3, HotMary -- this means YOU, chickies!)
- Invite people to our home, instead of keeping them at arms length.
- Keep my mom and stepfather a bit more at arms length.
- Stay focused at work.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
The "It" Couple
We're not complaining, we just think it's kinda funny that we are suddenly so popular.
So we'll start off with Lori & Jay's, then off to Jen & Randy's always eventful gathering (the booze and the food are always dee-lish there!), and finish the night at Shannon#3 & Erik's, which is closest to our home. (Looking forward to flirting with cutie-pie Erik, hee hee!!!)
Hmmm, each party will have it's own highlights, I am sure.
Cousins and Cupcakes

Over the past two years there have been three things in particular she has said to me that have stuck with me, and though she probably has no idea how much, have guided me immensely:
- There is no trophy given for the amount of grief one couple can endure
- It doesn't matter if you bring a baby home from the hospital or an airport
- It sounds like you need to shut out everyone and cocoon (her latest observation)
Oh, and one more thing, she thinks my sister-in-law is a phucking bitch, too. Ya gotta love that kind of support!
So after we took a long walk with her two-year-old, Maya, and went grocery shopping, I then picked up Dr. J so we could go celebrate a very important day.It was Dozen 's 1-year anniversary! And God Bless Them, Dozen was selling cupcakes for a blessedly cheap $1 per cupcake all freakin' day!!!!!!!!! Woo-hoo, we HAD to be there!!!! Of course, I had my vanilla-vanilla, while Dr. J had his East End Stout cupcake. Then, he got that devious look in his eye and proclaimed that "we need (NEED, lol!) to split just one more!" So I gave in and let him talk me into another vanilla-vanilla. Mmmmm. Happy Anniversary to Dozen, and we anixiously await the opening of their new bakery in late-January (NOTE TO DR. J: I think that will have to be OUR anniversary date, dear!)