Bloody Nose & Busted Lip

Yeppers, I managed to have both of these in 2 days time.

First up, the bloody nose. What's amazing about this is that, well . . . I gave myself the bloody nose. I wish I had some cool story to accompany it, but I don't. Nope, it's just another in a series of utterly ungraceful moves on my part. I was laying bed early Tuesday morning, after unsuccessfully being able to sleep (it was going on 2 hours at this point). I had JUST started to nod off, when my body had one of those sudden spasms that you sometimes get when falling asleep -- ya know, when your whole body jerks suddenly?!

Well, I had been laying on my right side, with my fist sorta loosely curled up near my face, with my right thumb extended. Somehow, somehow, when my body convulsed my right thumb inserted itself up into my right nostril, creating a gash in the process. My nose felt moist all of a sudden, so I reached for my ever present stash of tissues, and wiped my nose. Then I turned on the light. THERE WAS BLOOD ALL OVER THE TISSUE. Huh? WTF?!

I am not exaggerating when I report that it took 7 double-ply tissues before the bleeding subsided. This included me applying pressure, rolling up tissue & shoving inside the nostril like a boxer who had been punched, yadda, yadda. Each tissue was thoroughly soaked. Gross, but true. Eh, it's me, par for the course!

Then we roll to today. I am eating lunch when I suddenly bite down on the inside of my lip. HARD. This happens, right?! I wince, but resume eating. In the next 3 minutes, I manage to repeat this motion FIVE GAWDDAMN TIMES! It was like friggin' Gr.oundhog Day -- over and over I kept biting down in the exact same spot. Yowza!

I was so mad at myself. My lip was growing puffier and puffier by the minute. I have blood on the inside of my lip (under the surface) now. It's like I had dental work done, and I still have the swelling effects. Grrrr. Who knew my chompers were so powerful?!

Clearly, I am a hazard to myself.