So Far, So Good

So I have managed 2 evening, and 2 bedtimes alone, (that means sans Dr. J) thus far. He left Thursday afternoon on his business trip. Back on Sunday evening!

I have been extremely nervous about him being away . . . partly because I have doubts about my ability to successfully solo parent for that amount of time, and partly 'cause I am a GIANT 'fraidy cat when it comes to staying alone. (And thanks, Adrian, for "The Call Is Coming From Inside Your House!" quips. Little bitch! Kidding, I love you, and your giant mitts that could squash me).

Actually, I could have used ol' ManHands tonight when I was drawing a bath for Lil Pumpkin. As I was testing the water to see if it was the right temp, I spotted A GIANT SPIDER on the wall of the shower. GIANT. (okay, it really wasn't giant, but if it's 2 inches it might as well be a phucking foot). I whimpered, admittedly OUT LOUD, but killed the intruder. And then I whimpered some more, and hurried off a text to three people who I knew would understand.

Why am I so nervous about being sans co-parent for 3.5 days? 'Cause (1) I am not used to spending THAT amount of time alone with Lil Pumpkin. Seriously, I think the max I have spent with her solo uptil now is 5 hours - that's partly because "Adoption Attachment Protocol" (yes, I am self-coining that) dictates that you do as much together as a core family unit as possible; and (2) I am nervous because LP has had like SIX "good days" in a row. She's a friggin' toddler! This means that at any moment she could swing into "Crank Mode" and have a total meltdown. Consider that these past six wonderful days came after a week's worth of I-AM-TODDLER-AND-I-DAMN-WELL-WILL-DISREGARD-THE-RULES-AND-MELTDOWN episodes, which included Lil Pumpkin forgoing her typical 2 hour afternoon naps. [cue the shuddering]. I realize to that (3) the childcare schedule we have with/for LP means that we tend to be with her in 4 hour solo shifts, max.

Why am I so nervous being sans man for 3.5 days? 'Cause (1) I have already admitted I am a 'fraidy cat. A house with hardwood floors does not help matters (hullo creakiness!); (2) My mind LOVES to play tricks on me; (3) the security system does not fully alleviate my fears (the loaded shotgun does more, thank you!); (4) I live in fear of spontaneous electrical fires occuring in my home. Okay, I live in fear of fires and burns in general [I have a smoke detector in EVERY room of our house AND a CO2 detector on each floor]. (5) Bugs and spiders put out an A.P.B. when I am sans man, and love to freak the shit out of me! And (6) my cooking phucking sucks at this point. And my Saturday plans and half of Sunday FELL THROUGH (was gonna be at my Dad & Stepmother's house), so now I gotta figure out WHAT THE PHUCK we are going to eat for three meals therein?! (I can handle breakfast, and probably LP's lunch, though).

Desp.erate Housew.ife? Hardly. I just like having a man around.

Thus far . . . LP has been a 9.5 out of 10. Bath & bedtime routine kept consistent, and she was actually asleep a bit earlier than usual! The warmer weather is helping, too (playing outside!)

Now if MUMMY could just relax and get some sleep, too ;o)

It's Not Really About Food, Folks!

All of the other cream puff photos were a little bit too vulgar (even for me). I will stick with this one ;o)

Tiny. Smug. Mine.

Dr. J and I had out first EVENING date sans-baby since becoming parents on July 28th of last year. REALLY. We (or is it me) had some separation anxiety since Lil Pumpkin has not ever had a bedtime without Mummy or Daddy (and 95% of time it's both of us) since we became her Forever Family. But she was with her Nan and her beloved Pap ("Paaaaaap!") and all went smoothly. It's usually a slam dunk when your kid falls asleep in the Dor.a ball pit at her grandparents house, hee hee.

It felt really good to be able to go out, all gussied up, for an evening with my husband. To make smart ass remarks about everything going on around us, and in that blessed "spousal shorthand" that nobody else gets or understands. To like the same things that others would scoff at (hullo, "crumbles"!), and be able to say to Dr. J the phrase "I can't be in that parking lot and you know why" and for him to immediately understand WHY, and not want to be there too. That's something we have learned over the past month -- that the serious grief we have endured has also binded/bonded us, albeit in a very odd way. The shared grief that tears us apart also makes us (still) reach out for the only other person who could possibly understand.

We remembered what it was like pre-baby, but agreed that the mundane chores of life are now the best things in the world, like going to Sam's with Lil Pumpkin . . . suddenly it's an event! And it's as much fun as a night out on the town, but with deeper smiles and far better giggles (though they belong to her).

So what was my favorite moment on Saturday Night? Probably when the hostess (great gal, BTW!) offered me a piece of chocolate cake and I politely declined. I did this because I don't really like chocolate cake, being a vanilla/yellow kind of girl. She assumed otherwise, and said "You are already so tiny anyways!" TINY?! Me?! Oh girl, I am SO lovin' you now for calling me tiny!!! And loving An.n Tayl.or Loft for the dress I purchased there that very afternoon. And even my inlaws for the gift card that allowed me to purchase said dress. And my husband for chasing after The Chinese Ball of Frenetic Energy on the indoor mall playground while Mummy shopped for said dress that made her look (and feel) tiny.

Best part of Sunday? All around another terrific day spent with Lil Pumpkin. But favorite moment came when my 22-month old CONNED me into allowing her a second lollipop while we waited in a long line at the deli counter. I finally gave in because she was being adorably persistent (normally she is stricyly limited to ONE mini-dumdum per day), and the SMUG little look she gave me when I gave in was priceless. Oh, she is SO gonna set the world on fire, no matter what she does in life!

Oh, and it was yet another weekend in which Dr. J and surveyed the other children we saw, and continually whispered to one another "gawd, why are everybody else's kids so UGLY?! Damn, OUR kid is gorgeous!!!"

And smart. And brilliant. And persistent. And funny. And stubborn. And dramatic.

And . . . MINE.