The Year In Review

Normally I wait until the official last day of the year to do this, but since I am travelling it's gonna have to be a day early. Here's hoping that nothing shocking happens tomorrow that alters these lists -- then again, I will be seeing "The Bitch Cow," a.k.a. my S-I-L who needs to drop 20 pounds, and upset & humiliated me the last time I saw her, so who the phuck knows?! That's okay, I am in a much better place this year, one of strength, and I swear I will kick her cream puff ass if she so much as looks at me funny. Cheers!

WHAT WAS GOOD:

1. Falling in love with Lil Pumpkin the moment I saw her referral photos
2. Greasy, delicious, noodles and rice from "The Baby Restaurant."
3. Hearing Jane repeatedly ask "does anybody need any pure, bottled, water?!"
4. Chinese hospitality and housekeeping. And laundry.
5. Adrian's surprise packages.
6. Crazy cross-country chats.
7. Kimbolton!
8. Unlimited texting. Still.
9. Hope found me.
10. Watching my Dad fall in love with his granddaughter.
11. Being granted the privilege to love & parent the most amazing child that ever existed. And I am not biased. Really.

WHAT WAS BAD:

1. First-hand experience of just how much a toddler can grieve. As prepared as we were, it was still 100x's worse than anything you can imagine.
2. The Nanning Airport meltdown (Lil Pumpkin's and our own)
3. The IRS announcing mileage reimbursement is decreasing in 2009. Phuck.
4. Chinese heat & humidity.
5. The visit to the County Health Dept.
6. Extreme financial stress.
7. The repeat visit to the County Health Dept.
8. Losing/misplacing my beloved & semi-pricey RayB.ans. I have waaay sun-sensitive eyes and my el' cheapos ain't cuttin' it.
9. The Bath That Broke The Ceiling.
10. Cracks and crevices that deepen into caves.
11. The mourning of what likely happened to Yuanchun.

WHAT I LEARNED:

1. Attachment techniques work if you stay consistent!
2. How to clean my house in 60 minutes time, top to bottom. Okay, maybe 90 minutes. And okay, maybe just passable enough to fool visitors.
3. Micro-fleece is my friend. Meow. Not sexy, but warm.
4. Dr. J is capable of mowing the grass if it gets high enough.
5. God's power to bring together the right baby to us, under extraordinary circumstances.
6. My husband can dig way deep when he wants to. Evidence: walking, walking, and more walking. And then bonding, bonding, and more bonding.
7. Dr. J and I could NEVER have created a child more stunning than the one we adopted. Every inch of her is stunning.
8. Wedding details are far less stressful when you are a bridesmaid than when you are Thee Bride (love ya, Lori!)
9. I am Sydney Ellen Wade.
10. Things can get better.
11. Faith does make things possible, not easy. Truly. Just like the sign said near my house.
    

WHAT I WANT TO DO IN THE NEW YEAR (my potpourri category winner):

1. Get toned again.
2. Buy a treadmill and not feel guilty about it. (LMAO).
3. Embrace DVR.
4. Not cry when on a business trip.
5. Take more long baths. Uninterrupted.
6. Start/Finish the Life Book.
7. Hike on every sunny day. Or at least use the jogging stroller.
8. Feel sexy again.
9. Stay unapologetically patriotic and in-love with our troops!
10. Hook up with Howard again.
11. Fall in love all over again.
    

Redacted

Found the extra bottle (3/4's full) of eye makeup remover that I just KNEW was in my house somewhere. It was hiding out in my gym bag, all snug and cozy.

I think I am entitled to recess and an extra Butte.rfingers for this, right?! Oh wait, I ate all of the Butterf.ingers that Dr. J stowed in my Christmas stocking.

BTW, thanks for the terrific Christmas gifts, hon! I loved each one, and was mucho impressed with the thought you put into them, por favor ;o)

Bar.t Simpso.n Blackboard Moment

I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.

Oh, and if I were sent to the blackboard tomorrow? The message would be . . . "It's very difficult to get red wine stains out of little girl's pink jeans." Actually, I should make Dr. J write that one, as it was his wine, foolishly sitting on our IKE.A cocktail table, that Lil Pumpkin rode her new Big Whe.el into, which sent his wine glass flying. MumMa is smart enough to always stow her wine glass on the window sill. Or clutch it carefully in her hand ;o)

In Dr. J's semi-defense, I don't do too well with stains. I give it a feeble attempt, and then give up. I would rather just replace the item. There are few things I own that cost enough money to make me want to commit that kind of effort. In the case of Lil Pumpkin's ultra-pale pink jeans, they were bought at Target, by her Lahng Island grandmother. So I am out no money.

In other exciting news, I moved Lil Pumpkin DOWN a size in diapers. Her ass continues to swim in the size 4's, so I gulped and bought the 3's, and prayed the $32.04 investment at Sam's was not going to be one I regretted. They fit much better. She has gained close to 4 pounds over the past 5 months, and is 3 inches taller, too! However, she continues to have the same teeny booty as her Daddy (which, being as she is adopted, something we laugh about - the similarities she has to both of us, physically and in personality). Her little bum is super-pinchable, I have to refrain from doing it endlessly when she gets out of the tub!

I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.
I will remember to buy eye makeup remover.

'Cause if I have to use a baby wipe one more night (they have a tiny bit of aloe in them which is one of the same ingredients as eye makeup remover), I will rub my friggin' skin right off. Grrr.

Christmas Eve

Okay, so it is slightly sucky that I have to put in an appearance at the office today (a half-day). But at least I got to hear the awesome, and poignant lyrics of my fave John May.er song, "Say," on the drive in. This song was featured on the travel blog we did when we went to China to be united with our Lil' Pumpkin.

Every time I hear this song, there is this amazing mental video montage playing in my head . . . feelings and scenes and frustrations and doubts and tears that surrounded the fertility exploration and then the adoption paperchase that culminated in Thee Supreme Privilige of being granted the opportunity to become my daughter's Forever Mommy by the Chinese people. And then there are the rush of feelings that accompany the giant (and I mean GIANT) leap of faith it took to believe that THIS was actually going to happen . . . that she would be ours.

Take all of your wasted honor

Every little past frustration

Take all your so called problems

Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say (x7)

Say what you need to saaaay...

Walking like a one man army

Fighting with the shadows in your head

Living out the same old moment

Knowing you'd be better off instead

If you could only

Say what you need to say (x7)

Say what you need to saaay...

Have no fearFor giving in

Have no fear

For giving over

You better know that in the end

It's better to say too much

Then never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking

And your faith is broken

Even as the eyes are closing

Do it with a heart wide open... wide...

Say what you need to say (x7)

Say what you need to

Say what you need to

Say what you need to say...

The past several years worth of holidays have F'in sucked, with a capital F. This year, this child, have changed that . . . have changed me.

Jesus may have been sent to save all of us, but surely God also sent Lil' Pumpkin to save me, too.

Powerless

I have decided to admit the following . . . I AM POWERLESS (meaning nada willpower to resist) WHEN IT COMES TO THE FOLLOWING:

• Butterf.ingers candy - ooooooh, baby, I do love you. I have eaten like 6 of the bite-sized ones over the past few days. I am trying not to stress about this, since I dropped like 4 more pounds last week when I was sick, and so far haven't put it back on (which brings my post-baby weight loss to 12 pounds, yeah for me!)


• Victor.ia's Secret Fashion Show - they showed the rerun on tv the other night . . . and I was mesmerized all over again - imagining myself on the catwalk, grooving along to the awesome music selections, whimpering for the lingerie to be in my personal repertoire, sniff sniff.


• White-chocolate covered pretzels - my personal version of crack coc.aine, thank you!


• A thin V-neck sweater - damn, they look good on me, and are so versatile ;o)


• Free drinks - I admit it. Especially if I can combine it with semi-legit work schmoozing


• Gossip - Live it, love it, embrace it!
  
• Lil Pumpkin's Giggle - And I know just how to make her do it (chase her around the room, toss her into the air so she lands on her bed, or hold her upside down - I tell ya, my baby girl is a fearless daredevil!)

Christmas Lovings and Longings

Okay, so this is the first year in quite a few that I don't dread Christmas. If you don't already know why, please feel free to check in on my other blog (which, I am thrilled to say, has well over 18,000 hits - WOW!)


Still, in spite of several shitty years of wishing I could fast forward from the day after Thanksgiving to sometime in January, there were always a few things I could count on as my Christmas Guilty Pleasures:

• The Vic.toria's Secre.t Fashion Show - it ALWAYS delivers! In my Fantasy Life, I am up there walking with them, blowing kisses, winking at the celebs in the crowd, and tossing my fabulous hair over my shoulder as I model dangerously sexy underwear.


• Christmas Crunch - mmmmm, a recipe passed to me by a guy from Nashville about a decade ago, it basically involves melting white chocolate overtop Ric.e Chex, Cheeri.os, peanuts, almonds, min-pretzels, and whatever else you feel like mixing in. Mmmm, white chocolate soooo smacks my lips of Christmastime!


• Shopping - okay, so I haven't had the money to do so, but I still enjoy the by-proxy feeling in the air while wandering the stores. The people-watching alone is worth the hassle to find a parking spot (of which I have terrific Parking Lot Karma!)


• Sending Out Christmas Cards - I do enjoy it, I admit it. I have trimmed my list back every year (I think we will probably only send about 90 this year, as I am pissed at the non-senders and late-senders). And this year I am not quite as much as living-in-fear at receiving photo cards, as you will see from this Other Blog Entry (okay, so maybe just a little bit, which will probably never go away). Please Jesus, nobody send me any glitter cards (embarrassing story), though I have learned my lesson, I swear!!!
• A Real Tree - want to like crazy, but CAN'T DEAL with thought of pine needles on my hardwood floors being possibly ingested by my Lil Pumpkin, nor can I handle the stress of her tipping it over and sappy water going everywhere. Hell, I am already dreading the constant chorus of "No, No, NO!" that will emit from my mouth as I try to keep her from yanking ornaments off of the artificial tree we will put up. I suspect it will look like something Cha.rlie Br.own would be ashamed of, as I can't possibly put up my favorite ornaments lest I chance an ER visit for a toddler who managed to swallow a sequin, glitter in her eyes, or some other bodily injury due to being poked by something too sharp for her inquisitive little hands. I never thought I'd be this stressed out by the thought of a Christma.s tree