Your Friday Morning Cup of Coffee

Just an important lil' somethin' for all you men out there to ponder as you settle into your Friday morning . . .

THE TOP 10 SEX MISTAKES THAT MEN MAKE

And my quick thoughts on the article, point by point:

1. AMEN, Dr. Yvonne. Really good foreplay starts days ahead, if you really want to heighten your experience . . . and OUR performance.
2. YES, YES, YES. We have tons of interesting body parts that are waiting, no, begging to be explored. Now go be a pioneering explorer. In fact, let's play Lewis & Clark.
3. Another YES, YES, YES. Look, we ladies know how fascinated you are with your penis. We know you think it's the be all/end all. But listen, come close, cause I'm about to let you in on a little secret that shall serve you well in all future female conquests (ready?) . . . YOUR PENIS MOVING IN AND OUT IS NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE US "O". It's nice, it's helps, we like how it feels (my posse of women are nodding), but we need a lil' more interaction, okay?! Please re-read my response to #2. Thanks!
4. Listen to our heavy breathing, our moans, our purrs. You'll figure it out, if you listen carefully.
5. Your woman will probably "O" more easily if she thinks you're in it just to have some fun. So stop stressing, and so will we.
6. Um, you like us to keep OUR figures and wear cute outfits AND wear sexy lingerie, right? THEN CHECK THYSELF! Lose your own gut (or build some muscles if you're already thin), wear clean clothes, nice boxers, check your breath, shave your face, update your look (that means wardrobe, glasses, hairstyle, etc.), and stop bitching. [Looking at The Posse, and they are nodding so empathetically they're bordering on whiplash].
7. It's true. We have a naughty side. Meow.
8. Porn Star behavior from us? You first, Mr. Pizza Delivery Boy. (yeah, it's as bizarre in reverse to you as the shit you see in most stupid pornos are to us).
9. Listen, really, for the umpteenth time . . . unless you are so tiny we need a microscope, we don't care about your size. Conversely, your size is not enough to keep us around & interested, either. And another thing, having surveyed all members of The Posse, only one guy has been big enough for any of us to admit we were "wowed." But damn, you'd be amazed at all of the guys we have collectively slept with who THINK they are big "down there." LMAO.
10. Another Amen, Dr. Yvonne ;o)