F' Mick.ey M.ouse. And F' Me, too.

I can not believe this. I received in the mail some piece of paper from some bank or whatever saying that during transfer of paperwork that contained shareholder information of Disney stockholders, a truck lost or misplaced some boxes that contained paperwork with my private information. I think this means IDENTITY THEFT is imminent. Of course it is. They are offering me 90 days of free credit monitoring, but actually I am not too worried because (through an employee benefit) I already have a credit monitoring service that checks my credit reports monthly for anything funky.

All this, because like 20+ years ago somebody in the family (I think my Dad?) bought me two friggin' shares of Disney stock. From which I get dividends yearly that add up to about 78 cents. Really, I am NOT exaggerating. It ranges from 43 to 97 cents in a given year. It costs me more to have this shit noted on my taxes returns and turn it over to the CPA.

So, I say FUCK M.ICKEY MO.USE!!!

And now, for the F' Me portion of the program . . .

I have been waaaaaay M.I.A. from my blog (well, this one at least), and my emails, and my workouts, and just generally absentminded. I don't like that. I miss the subsistence I had created for myself, even if I am moving onward and upward. But part of why I have been so M.I.A. lately is because I have been wrapped up in trying to help someone who has become very dear to me. This friend has been (in my blunt words), been operating in some other alternate reality . . . they weren't keeping aware of just what their situation was and is. I guess because I have/am/are kinda been there/done that, the things I said to this friend was a massive jolt to them, and it snapped them into acknowledging what their reality is, and examining themself and their options.

To put it mildly, I felt like a Dream Crusher. Like I sucked the wind out of someone's sails. I rained on their parade. I stole the rainbow they were painting.

I felt, and still do, feel terrible about all of this. I know I did the right thing by gently enlightening them (yes, stop snickering, I do actually have my gentle moments). It will help them in the long run to know the truth, and maybe they will learn from my own proactivity that burying your head in the sand won't fill an aching hole in your heart.

I want so badly to comfort this friend. And I have spent much free time over the past two weeks trying to do so. And to even help them acquire the mental and physical tools to empower themself. I have done so at risk to my personal well-being, and schluffed off some of my work responsibilities in order to do so. (I don't regret the latter).

I just feel crummy about all of it. I did nothing wrong, I am being uber-helpful to them.

I still feel like "DREAM CRUSHER" should be stamped on my forehead. SIGH.