Tiny. Smug. Mine.

Dr. J and I had out first EVENING date sans-baby since becoming parents on July 28th of last year. REALLY. We (or is it me) had some separation anxiety since Lil Pumpkin has not ever had a bedtime without Mummy or Daddy (and 95% of time it's both of us) since we became her Forever Family. But she was with her Nan and her beloved Pap ("Paaaaaap!") and all went smoothly. It's usually a slam dunk when your kid falls asleep in the Dor.a ball pit at her grandparents house, hee hee.

It felt really good to be able to go out, all gussied up, for an evening with my husband. To make smart ass remarks about everything going on around us, and in that blessed "spousal shorthand" that nobody else gets or understands. To like the same things that others would scoff at (hullo, "crumbles"!), and be able to say to Dr. J the phrase "I can't be in that parking lot and you know why" and for him to immediately understand WHY, and not want to be there too. That's something we have learned over the past month -- that the serious grief we have endured has also binded/bonded us, albeit in a very odd way. The shared grief that tears us apart also makes us (still) reach out for the only other person who could possibly understand.

We remembered what it was like pre-baby, but agreed that the mundane chores of life are now the best things in the world, like going to Sam's with Lil Pumpkin . . . suddenly it's an event! And it's as much fun as a night out on the town, but with deeper smiles and far better giggles (though they belong to her).

So what was my favorite moment on Saturday Night? Probably when the hostess (great gal, BTW!) offered me a piece of chocolate cake and I politely declined. I did this because I don't really like chocolate cake, being a vanilla/yellow kind of girl. She assumed otherwise, and said "You are already so tiny anyways!" TINY?! Me?! Oh girl, I am SO lovin' you now for calling me tiny!!! And loving An.n Tayl.or Loft for the dress I purchased there that very afternoon. And even my inlaws for the gift card that allowed me to purchase said dress. And my husband for chasing after The Chinese Ball of Frenetic Energy on the indoor mall playground while Mummy shopped for said dress that made her look (and feel) tiny.

Best part of Sunday? All around another terrific day spent with Lil Pumpkin. But favorite moment came when my 22-month old CONNED me into allowing her a second lollipop while we waited in a long line at the deli counter. I finally gave in because she was being adorably persistent (normally she is stricyly limited to ONE mini-dumdum per day), and the SMUG little look she gave me when I gave in was priceless. Oh, she is SO gonna set the world on fire, no matter what she does in life!

Oh, and it was yet another weekend in which Dr. J and surveyed the other children we saw, and continually whispered to one another "gawd, why are everybody else's kids so UGLY?! Damn, OUR kid is gorgeous!!!"

And smart. And brilliant. And persistent. And funny. And stubborn. And dramatic.

And . . . MINE.

Chocolate Thoughts

Spending the night at the "sweetest place on earth," The Hershey Hotel. My first time here. Haven't seen much, and won't, as I am busy with a work-seminar for two long days. Disappointed in my hotel room . . . it's nice n'all, but fussy/formal looking, whereas I prefer modern and contemporary. And after the GIANT room I had at the Hotel Rouge a few weeks ago in D.C., this room feels a bit claustrophobic. I will give props to/for the shower pressure (and detachable head) and super-powered hair dryer - gawd, is my hair super-bouncy from it!

At least I am getting lots of free candy, right?! I have PLENTY to take home with me, and be a hero to Dr. J and my precious Lil Pumpkin.

It's also Dr. J's birthday today! Happy Birthday, Cookie! (Sorry that we have to postpone celebrating the occasion until Saturday).

It strikes me as a bit comical that I am surrounded by so much chocolate on the first day of Lent, since many Catholics give up chocolate for Lent, LOL. I have never given up chocolate, since it's not much of a temptation for me. I like chocolate (esp. white and dark), but in small quantities.

What should I give up for Lent??? Let's consider typical things given up by Catholics . . .

• Diet Coke/Hot Tea (caffiene) -- yeah, as IF! If a warm bottle is a staple for a toddler, then caffiene is Mummy's "must have"
• Swearing -- fuck that, and fuck those who give it up
• Television -- uh uh, a non-starter - I'd rather give up sex
• Sex -- I could probably give it up for 40 days, but c'mon, does The Lord REALLY want me to do that (I think not)?!

I guess I have some more thinking to do on this. In the meantime, I shall ponder the situation as I luxuriously and greedily pop a Hershey's miniature dark chocolate in my mouth, and savor the taste as it melts on my tongue!

ThreePeat and F'in Frosting

For three blissful nights in a row . . . I have been able to squeeze in working out on the treadmill while Dr. J gave Lil Pumpkin her bath. It has been heavenly. I am so amazingly thrilled that he assembled the treadmill I agonized over whether to buy . . . and not only does it work perfectly, it suits my needs to a "T".

I never suspected that working out from the privacy of my basement could be so satisfying! But there I was, 3 nights in a row, sweating my ass off in my grubbiest t-shirts that I should have stopped pitched in the trash about 30 pounds ago (heavier), but still keep around cause they are so big and roomy and perfect for sleeping in (and they hold lots of memories). On my new treadmill I am singing while I work out, gesturing wildly, and bopping around like only a white girl can (that means I look like a freak who should be institutionalized -- think Elaine from "Se.infeld" doing her patented dance move, LOL). But I am SO LOVING IT!!! (Thank you, Cookie, for building it!!!)

Which brings me to frosting . . . because we have leftover frosting from V-Day baking, the past three nights prior to bed I have taken to secretly swiping a spoonful and greedily licking it off. And for three nights now, I have had completely phucked up dreams, ranging from the enlightened . . . I selected my seat in church via the intenret much like you pre-select your plane seat . . . to the twisted . . . I am wearing a bikini top in which the bra cups are made out of the toy cymbals from my daughter's "band in a box." I am blaming ALL of this on THE VANILLA FROSTING! [Surely it has nothing to do with my own inner-weirdness, eh?!]

Cheesy Pilaf

I am a gawddamn idiot. Really.

When Dr. J and I moved in together back in Summer of 1996, I took it upon myself to teach him how to cook. I wasn't gourmet, but I could make several chicken dishes, and breaded pork chops. And anything that had instructions on a box.

I was thrilled when Dr. J wound up enjoying cooking, finding it relaxing. He began to take on more and more of it. At this point, I'd say he does 98% of it, truth be told. I confine my contributions to side dishes, namely those with instructions on a box. I can't even remember how to cook much of anything at this point.

So today, while Dr. J was outside tending to our snowy sidewalks and entertaining our daughter in the process (she loves ice and snow), I decided to "help" by cooking rice pilaf and scalloped potatoes. I have cooked both (closely following the directions each time) at least a thousand times since I was 15 years old.

And yet, as I was stirring both I couldn't figure out what was going wrong?! The rice pilaf was clumping funny, and the scalloped potatoes didn't have their usual cheesy color to them. Hmmm.

Then it occurred to me . . . I had mixed up the seasoning packets for both, putting the pilaf one into the potatoes, and vice versa.

I flung open the window, called out to Dr. J, and . . . confessed. He told me to "step away from the stove."

The rice pilaf tastes like a cheesy risotto. Or at least I think it does (I have never eaten risotto as far as I know). The potatoes are a total wash. Eh, the pilaf probably is, too.

I am a gawddamn idiot. I am thinking that I should further confine my culinary contributions to pouring the wine.

Long Island redux

Let me cover the more memorable moments/lines of the trip:

• Visit to aquarium - my kid was not interested. Which was fine with me, since I do NOT like the smell of aquariums. Add in my nose being completely inflammed from sleeping in a super-duper dry guest house and, well, it was NOT a good mix for my poor little nose. Sniff!


• Air Mattresses - fine for one night. But not four nights. Don't get me wrong, I was thankful for the free place to sleep, and an entire guest house/cottage so we could have some private space to escape to each day. But I loathe air mattresses.


• Tie-Dyed Clothing - sigh, my BIL and SIL are still going out in public dressed in this shit. They are NOT giant hippies, either (though my SIL's ass was lookin' mighty giant, thank you very much, Santa!) But they have continued to wear their tie-dyed clothing as long as I have known them (entering the 16th year), and long before that they sported it too, I am told. Thank YOU, Dr. J, for being just-this-side of "Acceptable Metrosexual" when it comes to clothing - and never wearing: tie-dyed, flannel, beer t-shirts, a jean jacket, or ratty leather. Oh, and having stylish glasses (no matter how rarely you wear them).


• My FIL gave me a lecture on the wines indigenious [sp?] to North America. By genus and species. Yes, there were plenty of Latin words. Hullo 20 minutes of My Life that I can not reclaim!


• Our first night back home . . . I had this amazingly phucked up dream in which I am munching cookies while walking through a tunnel, all the while pissed off that Dr. J has joined a rock band that wants him to join them on tour. In London. And he wants me to okay him spending $5,500 on a last-minute plane ticket to meet up with the band. In London. LESSON TO BE LEARNED: Do NOT combine late-night Spanish champagne with "scoob.y snacks," no matter how well they seemingly pair together at the time.

Soup

I have been fighting the flu (or what I suspect may be the flu) for the past 24 hours. Achy, sore throat, energy non-existent, and so on. Thankfully, this coincided with Ve.terans Day (thanks Vets, I "heart" each and every one of you!), so my mom and stepfather were off work, and thus able to take my Lil Pumpkin off my hands so I could cut down her exposure to her germy Mommy, and give me a wee bit of peace.

Around lunchtime, as I was propped up on the couch in my fluffy robe, banging away at some emails while 902.10 reruns blared on the tv, Dr. J surprised me with my favorite soup from a local restaurant. I was stunned. And touched. And it was delicious.

It was so simple, but it meant so much. It had been so long since I last had it that I had forgotten I even liked it.

Is That a Can of Pringles or are You Just Happy to See Me?

This morning I woke up from a dead state of sleep just shy of 5 a.m. The reason? I had a bad dream in which I had been arrested. For shoplifting a can of Prin.gles. Yes, a can of Pri.ngles.

WTF is wrong with me?! (I know, do I want that list alphabetically?!)

In the dream I manage to get out of what had to be the dirtiest grocery store I have seen in a long time, am 3/4's of the way to my car, when security steers me back to the store. I hadn't much concealed the can -- it was kind of in the crook of my arm, along with my purse.

Now WHAT is this all about?! Much as I love the salty, crisp yumminess that are Pr.ingles, I am thinking it that this bizarre scenario has something to do with denying myself something I want or desire. (I do love chips, gawd do I ever, but rarely buy them, since I am determined to keep my weight under control and I know that letting chippies into my home are like a "gateway drug" that could spiral into me falling of the wagon).

Nah, dreams are rarely literal like that. Objects and people always represent something or someone else. What am I denying? What am I wanting? What am I reaching for? Is it as yummy as a can of P.ringles?!?!?!

23 Things - check off Dozen Bake Shop

We went to the grand opening of Dozen Bake Shop this evening -- the second and expanded location of the Mother Ship.

We sampled their chocolate chip cookies, and a slice of vanilla cake. Mmmmmm.

Dr. J and I have been eagery awaiting this special occasion, so much that we placed it on our "24 Things" list.

Checked that one off! Next?

Cousins and Cupcakes

Finally had the opportunity to bond with my most closest cousin (oh hell, she's more like my little sister) Sandi on Saturday. I had reached out to her and told her I needed (not a want, NEED) to spend time with her. The great thing about her is that she KNOWS all of the family shit, so there's no lag time when I vent or bounce my fears off of her -- she knows the players equally well, and that is a relief to me. Sometimes I find it too overwhleming to share intimate details with people, since there is always so much backstory that seems to take forever to explain. That's why I treasure Sandi so much. She gets it. All of it. And she doesn't try to fix it. She listens. And yet, she always seems to come up with some little gem of wisdom, just a phrase, that sticks with me and helps me re-center and re-set the course I have been trying to sail.

Over the past two years there have been three things in particular she has said to me that have stuck with me, and though she probably has no idea how much, have guided me immensely:

1. There is no trophy given for the amount of grief one couple can endure


2. It doesn't matter if you bring a baby home from the hospital or an airport


3. It sounds like you need to shut out everyone and cocoon (her latest observation)

Oh, and one more thing, she thinks my sister-in-law is a phucking bitch, too. Ya gotta love that kind of support!

So after we took a long walk with her two-year-old, Maya, and went grocery shopping, I then picked up Dr. J so we could go celebrate a very important day.

It was Dozen 's 1-year anniversary! And God Bless Them, Dozen was selling cupcakes for a blessedly cheap $1 per cupcake all freakin' day!!!!!!!!! Woo-hoo, we HAD to be there!!!! Of course, I had my vanilla-vanilla, while Dr. J had his East End Stout cupcake. Then, he got that devious look in his eye and proclaimed that "we need (NEED, lol!) to split just one more!" So I gave in and let him talk me into another vanilla-vanilla. Mmmmm. Happy Anniversary to Dozen, and we anixiously await the opening of their new bakery in late-January (NOTE TO DR. J: I think that will have to be OUR anniversary date, dear!)

Surviving the Holidays -- Part Three (Monday/Christmas Eve)

Monday started off okay enough. A little bit of melancholy for me this morning, but tried to get re-focused by thinking about the pending yumminess of a few slices from Renzo's. And oh my, was the 18-month wait of that deliciousness ever worth it! Ahhhhhh! So, our Pizza ranking list looks something like this:

1. Renzo's (Port Jefferson, Long Island)
2. Mineo's (Squirrel Hill, PA)
3. Di Pietro's (West View, PA)
4. Sir Pizza (Ross, PA)

After we were sated, we drove around Port Jefferson to take photos of all of the places important to Dr. J's childhood memories . . . the idea was for us to have a photo record that we could share with Ping-Ping someday. We took photos of his favorite beaches, the houses he loved in, the Village shops, his high school, the ferry & pier, and of course Renzo's. I know I got some terrific shots of the beach terrain, which I am hoping will show up well enough in black & white that I can have one printed for inclusion in my proudly growing dining room gallery of black & white photos.

We then did a quick swing by the house which Dr. J's father and stepmother recently moved to. Hmmm. A lot of strangeness here, and things just not making sense. We speculated privately, so I will refrain from posting any thoughts about this in my blog.

We were then expected at the home of Dr. J's brother, sister-in-law, and our two young nephews. The boys were great, and the visit was going well. We then accompanied them to dinner at the home of the sister-in-law's parents. We were having a lovely visit there, too, and then out of freaking nowhere, post-dinner, my sister-in-law decided to be a MASSIVE BITCH and give us all sorts of completely undeserved grief about shit which she knows nothing about. On top of all this, she KNEW what a sucky day Xmas Eve and Xmas Day were going to be for us, and STILL she persisted. I tried to hold out as long as I could, but yep, there they were, the big tears! That bitch drove me to tears for a good 20 minutes. But of course, she knew it was for our own good WTF?! Go drink some more chardonnay and pop some more food in your chubby mouth, bitch!!!

Thank God for my Hamster texting me as we drove back to the hotel, or I don't think I'd have survived. Seriously, I turned the corner when Hamster texted "I want to come up and slap her for you!"

So, in a move that surprised even myself, I refused to go back to the sister-in-law's house this morning for breakfast. Phuck her. This is MY DAY to be selfish. She doesn't deserve my tears, my rage, my anger, my grief. I made Dr. J go, though, so he could spend time with our nephews. Later on I will join him for Christmas dinner at his Dad's.

I didn't want to let this day be ruined by what happened last night, so I tried to do something positive and proactive by focusing on the adoption. Thus I spent my alone time this morning surfing the 'net, learning more about the other adoption path we have decided to begin pursuing, which is adopting locally, of perhaps a black or mixed-race child. I am learning alot, and even came across an article that made me feel better about my Chinatown Meltdown the day prior.

I don't know what is going to happen with the Long Island Looney Toons, today or in the future, but I have been figuring out that opening our hearts to children who exist right now and who need us, as much as we need them, will give us the healing and push we need to let some of this background noise bullshit start to mute. So I am now reading profiles of "waiting kids" in earnest, trying to imagine our lives with them, and theirs with us.

All I want for Christmas . . . is to take a half-dozen of them home. Now.

Remembering Baby B

Pookie,

Today sucks for you. Don't ever feel the need to apologize for your grief. Anybody who tells you to "get over it" or "move on" can go phuck off. And if you need me to tell them for you, just say the word (just as I know you would do the same for me).

Wish I could be with you at this very moment, and we could cry together. And then go do something very destructive, like spend money we don't have.

Promise me you will get the ice cream, and chow down as planned. In some small way, I will be with you then, too.


All my love belongs to you today.

XOXO,

FC

Viva Las Vegas -- Recap

Yeah, yeah, I know -- I usually do daily entries when I have a big trip (esp. when it has an element of "fun" involved, as I was counting on this one to have).

I got busy, so it didn't happen. Forgive me.

So I will try my best to give a proper summary of Thee Vegas Trip . . .

Wednesday:

Probably my busiest days in terms of meetings. Saw some interesting presentations by my colleagues from other states, who fight the same legislative battles as I. I tried to write down key buzz phrases, so I can use them in my region, too. Had lunch with my pal Ryan, where we shared a few giggles over our mutual desire to ALWAYS go on the out of town trips, whenever possible! Later on in the day there was a big ass conference session in which we saw these televised commercials and documentaries about our industry and the folks who won national awards for their good deeds -- I must say, I was impressed by the quality of the video presentations, as well as inspired by the folks who were honored. Wow. It made me proud to work for and with these people. Bill Cosby was brought in as the big speaker. I like Bill Cosby, totally repsect his life's work and all that . . . but he's not quite my ultimate cup of tea. I was getting fidgety (what a shock -- NOT), so I skipped out a few minutes early to beat the crowd as they exited.

I made my way back to the hotel, grateful that my official "work day" had come to an end. I enjoyed a tasty meal, then decided to retire back to my room. It felt soooo good to slip out of my big girl suit, kick off my shoes, and eventually stretch out on the bed. But I still failed to get much sleep that night. Keyed up, I guess?!

Thursday:

My schedule did not require me to be anywhere until noon on Thursday. So I lounged in bed for most of the morning. Just kinda indulged myself with some relaxing "me time". Mmmmm. My relaxing morning was even capped off by an act of culinary pleasure . . . a big, sweet, sticky Belgian Waffle, complete with the syrup, strawberries, and a heaping mound of whipped cream. Did I already say "Mmmmmm"?!?! It bears much repeating. It was a perfect culmination of longing met with tasty bliss.

After popping over to the convention for a luncheon, I then moseyed about the shops at the Venetian, the highlight of which was playing dress up with the Mikimoto black pearl pendant necklace . Meow. I quickly texted the girls to mark the moment.

After struggling through the afternoon sessions (how I could not be distracted at this point?), I made my way back to the hotel to get changed for a night on the town. One of my midwest-based colleagues had been the recipient of a handful of surplus show tickets (courtesy of one of his BoD members who had purchased too many), and I was to be the very lucky recipient of one of them! Cue the squeals!!! First we all went to dinner at the Eiffel Tower Restaurant (I decided that so long as the restaurant was IN the good ol' U.S.A., I wasn't breaking my ban on all things French). Dinner was dee-lish! Really, it was. After dinner we hurried over to the Bellagio to see . . . CIRQUE DU SOLEIL!!! Yep, I was gonna see "O"! I don't know what the "O" stands for, but it should be for OMG! Wow, I was blown away. It was so amazing. I was dressed up, watching a world-class show . . . the whole thing was like a giant surreal moment, nearly indescribable. I was sad for the evening to end, since everything had been so exciting and unique.

Friday:

Another morning in which I had the good fortune of lingering in bed a bit. The only thing which lured me out of bed was that I was determined to treat myself to a few Krispy Kremes for breakfast, which seemed like the perfect punctuation to mark the end of a trip to "Sin City." I hadn't had a Krispy Kreme in soooo long . . . I wanted to savor every exquisite and satisying bite. Mmmmm! (Again). All in all, it was a good trip. Perfect balance of work and play. Too bad reality will smack me in the face when I get back to the office on Monday.

Chili, Champagne . . . and Cupcakes?!?!

It was time for the Triennial Chili and Champagne Event!

"Hamster" and "Da Weeter" sent us an invitation for our cozy dinner party, which got its start as some ridiculous excuse to eat Da Weeter's chili, and for Hamster and I to down some bubbly.

And it's kinda taken off from there.

This year I texted Hamster "what should I bring?" She texted back "Bring your sombreros and surveillance sidedish."

Now, "Surveillance" is a looonnnng story, for another time. I doubt other people find it as funny as Hamster and I do, but who gives a shit?! It's one of our "Dangerously Legal" practices that goes back to when I got my first car and used to haul our asses all over the place in my oh-so-red Chevy Cavalier.

Back to Hamster's text, though. So she throws in the word "sombreros" . . . hmmm. I quickly texted Lori, Sandi, and my Mom in search of a sombrero, just to be a smart ass. Which prompted my Mom to ask the Spanish teacher at the high school where she works if she had a sombrero on hand? YES, she had two! And threw in a couple of those Mexican blanket-ponchos and some maracas, too. SWEEEEET! (Or as Dr. J would say "Saaaammmmm!")

I already had a rather full day planned . . . began with a pre-op chat with my Dad over coffee at Crazy Mocha, then Dr. J & I went to Oakland to attend a lecture by author Jeff Gammage (but first we visited The O for a super-quick lunch), then off to Squirrel Hill for a slice at Mineo's, (see Dr. J, I said "SLICE" and didn't call it a "CUT" -- though I did say "cuts" when I ordered, you just didn't notice!!!)

And FINALLY, we had the procurement of Thee Cupcakes from Dozen (I could wait no longer, the urge was taking over my life to lick the frosting off one of those puppies!) I was thrilled to have an excuse to pick up cupcakes, and that we were only a few miles away for the lecture, well . . . it seemed to me that the stars had aligned for the perfect "C" compliment to the "Chili and Champagne" triennial event!

I promised Hamster that "these are like the best sex of your life. Really." The look on her face later told me I had not oversold them, hee hee!

I thought The Hamster was going to piss her pants when we gringos appeared at her door, clad in sombreros (granted, Dr. J was mortified by my latest insistence that he get into the spirit of the event -- but hey, Hamster LOVED it, which was all I cared about).

The boys wolfed down their chili, so they could then retire downstairs and grunt as they watched the hockey game. Whatever. It gave Hamster and I some much-needed girl time. WHICH WE NEED MUCH MORE OF (hint, hint). Seriously, she is such a light in my life . . . she makes dumb shit ridiculously fun. I swear Hamster is one of those people who truly could make watching paint dry seem fun. She's just that bust-up funny. Best of all is her "faux serious face," I think.

Everyone thinks I am the troublemaker (okay, so maybe I am) -- but I couldn't do it all these years without such a willing partner, who pushes me to the "dangerously legal" limits that she does. We've never crossed the lines of what is legal, but gawd we have certainly edged close to it! (I will freely admit having danced right over the lines of good taste on countless occasions, though).

Our friendship has survived so many changes, and has even surprised me in how it has actually thrived throughout it, especially over the past couple of years. I could not have made it without My Hamster (I am nothing if not possessive). I have felt so hopeless and helpless and downright crazy at times, and I am often convinced that I am of no help to ANYBODY. And yet, here is this amazing, capable, focused, brilliant chickie reaching out, asking me to help her?! Gawd, it makes me feel like a million bucks to be able to do for others, especially her.

Mucho Gracias, Senora! Now pass me a damn cupcake, and stop hogging the Chandon.

Culinary Porn

Damn those bastards. If it wasn't bad enough for me to know that they are out there, calling my name, tempting me at every moment, imploring me to come visit, making all sorts of promises about how gooood it will be if I just give in . . . now I find myself having to additionally resist the temptation of staring at their sultry selves online.

That's right -- Dozen has begun posting photos of their new Fall flavors. Sonofabitch.

As if my days weren't already full of distractions, I now have to keep myself from viewing these photos as if they were centerfolds. Because that IS what it feels like -- I am trying to NOT think about them, to keep myself busy, and feed my desire with other things.

But dammit they are calling me!!! I already am obsessed with the decadent innocence of the Vanilla Vanilla . . . and now I am just going crazy over thoughts of the Raspberry Zinger and Chocolate Chip Cookie. (I don't even like coconut all that much I am willing to give the Raspberry Zinger a try & hopefully be surprised).

Grrrrrrrrrrr.

Birthday Re-Cap

The last couple of years (and especially last year) I have absolutely dreaded my birthday. For about a thousand reasons, I just couldn't muster up any enthusiasm for celebrating. But I am trying to do better this year, in spite of my preference to still not celebrate much of anything. Celebrations are supposed to be about joy, and everytime I try to do so (celebrate) I feel guilty because I think of what has been lost. Even writing about it is hard.

But I am also trying to not be such a downer to those around me. So I agreed to dip my toes back into the birthday pool this year. But there couldn't be a party, and I told my mother point blank that if there is a cake on Sunday (we are going out to dinner) I will never speak to her again. Really. I am hopeful she will respect my wishes and comply.

I received an early surprise the day prior to my birthday when one of the most vocal and critical members of my Board of Directors showed up at a meeting with a personalized birthday cake for me -- whoa! This is a woman who my (staff-level) colleagues refer to as "The one who eats her young" -- yeah, a real ball-buster. And she brought ME a cake?!?! I was very touched, to tell the truth.

Wednesday, my actual birthday, was chock full of important meetings and even a public hearing. But my friends and family managed to squeeze in the appropriate text messages and phone calls of cheer. I was stunned when I went back to my office late in the day and there was a gorgeous floral arrangment from . . . my husband! You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was really surprised by this. They were so beautiful, and full of "Nancy Reagan Red" flowers that look great with the leaves changing colors all around our town at present.

After work I met Lori for dinner and finally got the chance to fawn (in person) about her new, shiny, sparkling engagement ring! Then Dr. J picked me up and we went out to dinner at one of our favorite places. There was a major service problem at the beginning of the meal, but as we got up to leave the manager recognized us, and insisted we sit back down. He wound up comping us an appetizer, a bottle of wine (yum!) and a really adorable dessert which they call "A Study of Chocolate."

We were positively STUFFED by the end of the meal . . . how we made it to the car and home is still a mystery?! Dr. J gave me a very touching birthday card when we got back to our house (which made me cry, but they were okay tears).

But it was just what I needed for my birthday this year . . . low-key, simple, and delicious.

Lust . . . Frosting

The temptation was building . . . and I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold out. Sure, I've enjoyed them before, but when you really find something you like, alot, it can be difficult to not develop a craving for it. And then the craving gets more and more frequent.

And then on Friday morning, it got even more intense, as this lil' item was e-mailed to me, directly by Dozen, announcing that finally, the new fall menu had arrived! And the new ones, raspberry zinger AND chocolate chip cookie??? COME TO ME!!!

How was I supposed to work that day, or even since then, knowing that this type of temptation is out there, calling my name over and over and over?!?!

Is it a WANT or a NEED? Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. I just know that I am obsessively thinking about it, sigh. In my defense, the frosting has never let me down . . . if sin is something that can be licked, than Dozen's frosting is the devil.

FIELD REPORT -- Wednesday

Our last full day in Kal-ee-forn-yah. We were sad. We have such a love/hate relationship with our former place of residence.

We love the food, the wine, the amazing scenery, the never-ending amount of things to do, see, and tackle. And my job, gawd, we BOTH loved my old job there!

But we hated (and still loathe) the cost of living, the traffic, shitty schools, mass amount of illegal aliens, crooked politicians, and Liberals.

We met up with Dr. J's old boss and still-mentor for lunch. Damn him, Dr. Watson kept tempting us! About 4 times he asked when we were moving back, and continuously reminded Dr. J that should we move back, he "has a job waiting" (with Dr. Watson). Don't get me wrong, I adore Dr. Watson -- he is a former Army Ranger, a true flirt (I love a flirt!), and shaped my husband in so many valuable ways. I guess it's good to know that we have options, if we choose to move back someday. Hey, it's always good to be wanted!

We had a thoroughly yummy lunch in downtown Mountain View at Cascal. Cuban food, yum! I so miss this about Mountain View -- Castro Street (main drag) continuously has THEE BEST food offerings ever. EVER!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately, we then had to waste the next several hours trying to get an emergency prescription filled. Grrrr. California pharmacies are toooooo busy. Maybe this was a fortunate frustration, after all? It jolted us back into reality.

We loaded up on food and wine at Trader Joe's, where I got hit on by a very tall and oh-so-helpful Tarder Joe's employee, and then headed back to Adrian's for our last night of debauchery. And oh, did we ROCK it there!

Perhaps more significantly, I succeeded in getting Adrian HOOKED on Kirsten's and mine favorite reality show, "America's Next Top Model"!!!

And to end our trip, we learned that Noah had left for us a very special present to give to our lil' guy Nate (and Noah's BIGGEST FAN) -- an SFPD hat. Gawd, Noah is both a bad-ass AND a rock star!!!!!!!

Lines of the Day:

* Ms. J -- "Adrian, the show features skinny, insecure women who think they are fat. You'll love it!"

* Adrian -- "Okay, I am now hooked on this show!"

THURSDAY Line of the Day:

* Noah -- "I have to go to San Quentin."

FIELD REPORT -- Tuesday

Today we split up a bit. Dr. J set off to Woodland (near Sacramento) to visit with his former schoolmate, Christian. Christian and his wife have their own chiroratic office, Premier Chiropractic, which Dr. J got to tour and trade stories about. I adore Christian. He has always been a very good friend to Dr. J, and he's just an all-around cool guy.

Meanwhile, Adrian and I had set off to San Francisco in her "gay Miata" to meet up with Kirsten for my inaugural lunch at Rubio's. YUM! Now I understand why they ate there so many times while they worked together. Mmmmmm!

After lunch, we left Kirsten to go visit the Louis Vuitton store, so that Adrian could pre-shop for her anniversary gift. I made sure to not touch anything, lest LV-itis rub off on me and suck me in like it has Adrian and Kirsten. That task completed, we then went to some other high-end home decor store which Adrian adores. Man, did I ever feel like the country bumpkin in there, lol! Geez, I get excited about something from IKEA -- whoa, this was WAY out of my league (forever), hee-hee! But God Bless Her, Adrian has a beautiful home, and is amazing when it comes to putting just the right touches in furnishing a house. Really, she has a talent (no matter how much we may faux-mock her interests)!

We then walked up to Chinatown which, despite the years we lived in the Bay Area, I never actually visited before. I picked up a few trinkets for myself, and a bunch of postcards (gee, what a surprise -- not). The last story we stopped in, and I still have no idea why THAT store as opposed to the hundreds of others, happened to have a small section of children's books. And that's when I saw it . . . I almost cried when I saw it, it just felt like Fate or something?! If Kirsten had been there I probably WOULD have cried (but Adrian is not one for too much emotion so I kept it in). Still, even Adrian knew this was a spooky coincidence and insisted that I just HAD to buy it. So I did. The first thing I ever bought for our "Ping-Ping" was a book for Dr. J and I to read to her someday. I also bought one other book while I was there, because I remember reading it and enjoying it as a child myself.

I was soooo excited to show these books to Dr. J when we met up later that night. I could have bought them at any children's bookstore. But it just seemed fitting that I bought them in Chinatown. And it even seemed fitting that I bought them with "Aunt Adrian."

Lines of the Day:


* Ms. J -- "If you had to live in San Francisco, what neighborhood would you choose?" / Adrian -- "I just wouldn't."

* Adrian -- "You are too pretty. I wasn't talking to you (Dr. J), I was talking to the dogs."

FIELD REPORT -- Saturday

Today was Wedding Day! But not until 5:30 p.m.

We drove around a bit in Morro Bay and finally wind up having brunch at Dorn's. Decent food, large portions, enough to sustain us until dinner.

Still having time to kill we went to downtown San Luis Obispo (which we love), and wandered into "Taste," which is (surprise, surprise), an ultra-modern and hip wine-tasting room that features 72 wines from San Luis Obispo County wines. It was sooooo cool! While there was a semi-knowledgeable woman working there (more on her later), you essentially purchase a debit card and then insert it into various slots and place your glass underneath a bottle to sample a particular wine. The wines are kept in climate controlled cases, according to varietal. It was really neat. After trying a half-dozen, we decided to buy a bottle for the bride and groom, as well as a full glass for both Dr. J & I.

Back at the hotel, I took a quick dip in our private hot tub, thanks to Dr. J's careful asistance. I say "careful assistance" because since I did not know ahead of time that our private tub would be on our patio, I neglected to pack a swimsuit. Oh heck, I don't even OWN a swimsuit. So Dr. J helped me slide into the hot water semi-shielded so I could relax pre-wedding, which I followed up with a nap while he showered.

Nicole and Lt. Commander Mike's wedding was held on the terrace of the hotel, overlooking the ocean. It was very simple, and very lovely. Mike had on his Navy tux, which of course I loved. The wedding guests featured lots of Navy types (including both of the groom's parents, a Commander dad and Chief Petty Officer mom), which had me all high! Nicole's best friend Meredith got "ordained" in order to marry them. During the ceremony, she revealed something about the Happy Couple that shocked just about everybody -- they had met on eHarmony.com!!! WHAT?! Everybody had just assumed Nicole had picked Mike up at some Navy bar in San Diego?!?! What a scream this revelation was!!!

The reception was nice, and the booze was flowing, which is always nice. There were a number of strange comments being tossed my way by one of the groom's Navy buddies, Wes, but thank gawd Dr. J and I have a shared borderline-disgusting sense of humor, and could laugh then and now about the whole thing.

Nicole beamed the whole night, which was the most important thing of all.

Lines of the Day:

* Ms. J -- "You know why this guy likes making pies? 'Cause his wife's face looks like ass."

* Ms. J -- (directed to Dr. J) "That chick pouring wine was your type. If you'd have been cleaned up you could have closed that deal." / Dr. J -- "I know. She gave me a better pour than you." (Note: I took photo of our glasses to illustrate this point).

* Uncle Joey -- "I never really liked the Romans. I mean rhones.


* Wes -- "I really like your wife. I wanna get with her."

FIELD REPORT -- Thursday

Yes, we are in Thee Land of Fruits & Nuts & Flakes -- a.k.a. Kal-ee-forn-yah!

Our first flight out sucked, due to some hick dad from West Virginia (first clue) sitting directly behind me being unable to deal with his 2 year old daughter's meltdown for the final 30 minutes of the flight. Dude, kids ears usually hurt during takeoffs and landings which is why it helps to give them a bottle during this time! Kee-rist, at least he could have distracted the little monster by giving her a toy or something?! But nope, and instead I was treated to blood-curdling screams and CONSTANT kicking of my seat.

By the time we landed in Chicago at 7:00 .am. we KNEW why people drink heavily during airport layovers. It was VERY tempting, let me tell you.

Second flight to San Jose was less eventful. Had a really nice college-aged girl sitting next to me, who slept most of flight. Dr. J & I amused each other most of the way by passing back and forth a book we are reading. We had to try and contain ourselves because we'd read a few sentences and start laughing our assess off about what this guy wrote. I want to SHOUT the author's name out, but since this wll likely become a Christmas present for a few key people I will keep it on the down low for now.

So we get to CA and head to the rental car place, which is apperently now Sikh Central. My, I had forgotten about them -- usually you encounter them working in banks. Hmmm.

We then headed for our first post-flight stop, which we had been DREAMING of for the past 18 months . . . yep, Amici's!!!! We settled in with our absolutely favorite superthin-crust, New Yahk-style pepperoni pizza and a couple glasses of Coppola red zin . . . Ahhhhhh. It's nice when things are as good as you remember them. It's even better when they exceed it. And Amici's certainly did. We were giddy and excited and relaxed and glad we had decided to come back to Mountain View, the town where we lived our West Coast Adventure.

But then it was time to meet up with ManHands, I mean Adrian (really, I shouldn't start off by insulting the hostess, hee hee!)

She still had a bit more work to do, so we strolled around Palo Alto and did A LOT of reminiscing about some really good times we had, what we missed, and what we didn't (hullo, hippies!)

With Adrian done with work, we followed her home to just north of Half Moon Bay and settled in for what I can best describe as a Frat Party revisited. In fact, this blog entry, while appearing as if I wrote it on Thursday, actually had to be finished on Friday morning, due to the excessive drinking and partying and general debauchery that transpired. God bless Adrian and Noah.

I am forever gonna be a big fan of great quotes, and thus I think the night is best captured through my sharing with all of you the awesome sentences I actually took the time to log into my Treo as they occurred (thank gawd it's the Silicon Valley and NOBODY thinks whipping out your Treo while drinking is anything but normal).

So here ya go, the best of the best -- so far . . .

Lines of the Day:

* Dr. J: "Gilles? Your French boss is named Gilles? Tell him his new name is GARY!"

* Adrian: "Gilles/Gary said to call you both 'Arrogant Americans'."

* Ms. J: "Adrian, there's no easy way to put this . . . I need to go have sex NOW."

* Noah: "Hon, I am going to be a little late. I am walking into a meth lab."

* Ms. J: (texting from the bed) "Kirsten, I wonder if Adrian knows which of her decorative guest bedroom throw pillows is best for elevating the hips post-coital?"

* Adrian: (examining a bottle of Costa Rican whiskey) "I don't understand the writing on this bottle, because it's not American." / Ms. J: "I think you mean English."

* Noah: "I'm calling you again because I am on my way to a shooting."

* Ms. J: "You're all phucking lightweights! Somebody do another shot with me?"

* Noah: "Why is Dr. J wearing a women's cowboy hat?"

* Ms. J: "Coach and Jonah won't stop sniffing my crotch. It's like they know?!"

* Dr. J: "Oh, they know. The dogs know."


We're setting off for Pismo Beach in a few minutes . . . Yee-Haw!

Cheers from here :o)