Power Outages & A-Holes

Is is power outages that bring out the as*holes of the world, or is it the lure of free W.iFi?

I am too pissed to write out what some a-hole just said to me. But PHUCK am I ever pissed!

PHUCK, that hurt! (a.k.a. Our Visit to the County Health Department)

Dr. J and I elected to get several shots (on the advice of our G.P.) in advance of our pending summer trip to China. After checking around we learned that one of the shots is ONLY offered by our County Health Department, and they had evening hours one night a week that would accomodate Dr. J's schedule. So off we went, checkbook in hand (check or cash only, please!)

We decided to get the tetanus booster, Hep A, and Hep B vaccines.

This is the sign that greeted us as we walked into the building . . .


Then we saw THIS sign as we waited for the elevator that would take us to the 3rd floor. Immediately, I said to Dr. J, "be careful what you touch while here. And don't touch me at all."

Oh, here's ANOTHER fun sign that had my germ-phobia starting to kick into panic mode . . .

Lemme say, I am NO wimp, okay?! I can, have, and do deal with physical pain just fine, thank you very much.

However, when that nurse put the Hep A & B combo shot into my arm, it hurt! I swear that thing was given intramuscular or something?! And the moment she pulled the needle out I actually winced! YOWZA! Hey, I got allergy shots for years, so I am NOT afraid of needles. And kee-rist after LAST summer's medical follies where my va-jay-jay went through the friggin' wringer I know I am tough enough. But DAMMIT THIS HURT!

We waited the obligatory 5 minutes post-vaccines, and promised to return in one month's time to get the second phase of the Hep shots. And that's when perhaps the "best moment" presented itself out of this whole germy experience. We exited the elevator back on the 1st floor, and I spotted this sign . . .

Immediately, I start cracking up, while making all sorts of highly inappropriate remarks to Dr. J, who is somewhere between wanting to vomit and laugh hysterically. It's at this point that a janitor happens to overhear us, (cue the voice of Nicolas Cage from the movie "Peggy Sue Got Married,"), nods in our direction at the sign and says "THAT'S THE REAL WORLD RIGHT THERE."

LMAO!!!!!!!!! Hullo, are we high right now? Or just dreaming? It was insane. And awesomely bad. Perfect.


A final gross-out photo . . . this, along with other photo examples of highly contagious diseases, were prominently displayed on the walls of the waiting room where we sat for 30 minutes waiting our turn to be jabbed. I made sure to send a copy of it to Jay (Lori's fiance), who promptly replied, "They paid me $100 to pose for that. And $500 for the herpes one -- have you seen it yet?" LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

I Heart Being Touched

Last Saturday I had a divine massage from that young buck, Howard.

This week I had another one, by another young guy, named Jamie. I was the recipient of Jamie's magic touch at a chic spa in my city.

Normally I would not indulge in a masage at someplace so upscale, of course. But this was a gift, courtesy of a friend who is very dear to me. It was given to me, no strings attached, on a day when I was at a very low moment (really, the lowness factor was bottoming out). I was so surprised when I received the gift card for it (okay, blown away is more like it). And even more touched by the thoughtfulness. I was, like, speechless (which, if you know me, is kind of an impossible situation to imagine -- but trust me, I was). I will never forget that moment . . . like someone had tossed me a life preserver as I was drowning, and said "hey, I see you out there in the ocean, hold on!"

Yesterday afternoon, in between attending the a.m. & p.m. church services with my brother for his RCIA process into the Catholic Church (I am his Sponsor), I hustled to have my much anticipated massage. Jamie was young, sweet, and specialized in deep tissue massage. Perfect. He even turned on the steam machine and aimed it towards my back as he worked on other parts of my body -- the warm, moist heat felt amazing (oh crap, this sounds like total porn right now, LOL). After he was done kneading my legs he took a large, hot, wet washcloth and pressed it into my back, while applying firm pressure onto the knots he found. I would have groaned out loud (in pleasure) if I weren't afraid of being judged a perv, hee hee!

I was so relaxed by the end of the hour I wished I had the money to book the room for the rest of the afternoon, just to nap. It would have been divine if I could have just layed there for a while longer, all Zen-ed out, and slipped off into DreamLand. My body felt like it was in a mediatative trance. I hated to leave this "Den of Zen," but finally mustered up the energy to get dressed (boo!) and go home. The good feeling lasted though, and I managed to sleep better last night than I have in weeks.

If only I could somehow end every day with a massage . . . . Mmmmmm!

Apple Bottom Booty?

We have a rather sassy receptionist at my office. She is in her early 60's (looks mid-40's), black, and a bit of a smart ass.

She and I both are fans of the Steve Harvey morning show (radio), and enjoy hip hop music.

For some reason (I don't know why), we were discussing the song "Lo" this afternoon. Most people know "Lo" by it's tag line of "Shawty had those Apple Bottom Jeans . . . . " It's a fun, catchy tune.

The receptionist has long bemoaned that she has a flat behind (puh-lease, I know plenty of women who'd love to trade). Well, in light of this song, out of nowhere she says to me "You have a sistah's bum. I have a white woman's bum." I cracked up.

She's right, though.

I told her this must be why black men love me (and I appreciate their appreciation, hee hee).

21 Things -- check off Renewal of Vows

(NO, THIS IS NOT US!!!)

We did it! I saw this news item a couple of months ago, and thought it'd be just dorky enough for Dr. J to wanna check out . . . the Guiness Book of World Records would be coming to town for the World's Largest Renewal of Vows ceremony. So I signed us up as an anniversary surprise.

Tonight we put on our finest and ventured out to the event. I was this close to wearing my wedding dress, but in the end chose not too because I didn't want to get my dress dirty (plus my car needs a good cleaning, too!) Instead I wore my aforementioned "Vegas Dress" and Dr. J wore his best suit with a purply dress shirt and tie combo that I love him in (he looks great in dramatic colors).

It was QUITE a site at the ceremony. A handful of women in their dresses (I admit, the real reason I wanted to wear mine, other than the fact that I love my wedding dress, was to show up all those women who can no longer squeeze into theirs. Am I evil? No. Honest? Yes.) There were some folks in wedding dresses at least two decades old, which was pretty funny. And this one couple had on NASCAR shirts (see above photo), which really had us giggling. Even a lesbian couple. Couples married 60+ years, and couples married within the past year. Two couples in which the husband sported a kilt.

It was an interesting evening, in a beautiful setting. Fun, dorky, different, weird. Yep, it was our kind of night :o)

23 Things - check off Dozen Bake Shop

We went to the grand opening of Dozen Bake Shop this evening -- the second and expanded location of the Mother Ship.

We sampled their chocolate chip cookies, and a slice of vanilla cake. Mmmmmm.

Dr. J and I have been eagery awaiting this special occasion, so much that we placed it on our "24 Things" list.

Checked that one off! Next?

Three Rivers Runs Through It

Yesterday, after I rushed back from my trip to D.C. for an, um, "doctor appointment," Dr. J and I headed out for a rare treat of an evening. My mother had given us theatre tickets to a performance by the Second City comedy troupe, which is in town for a few days.

I loooovvve Second City, having seen them perform in Toronto when I was 17 years old.

So we journeyed into The Big City (lol) for the performance of Three Rivers Runs Through It.

It was really fun! Lots of laughs, with a local spin on it. But the best was the improv at the end, which is always my favorite.

Definitely something we should do again soon (both parts, ahem).

;o)

Venture Outdoors

OMG, I had no idea this group was actually a bona fide organization! I thought it was one of those fluffy, do-gooder (but really, do very little) groups that pretends to exist for its stated purpose but actually has a main function of bitching, moaning, and blaming anything and everything that they perceive as "wrong" with/or about the environment on the Political Bullseye of the Moment.


I have long enjoyed exercising outdoors, and this interest was nutured by our years in Kal-ee-forn-yah. Yosemite, Big Basin, and other points throughout the Santa Clara Valley were favorites of mine. Over the past year I have attempted to rekindle my surprising hobby. I say "surprising" because most people seemed very surprised that I loooovvve to go hiking (urban or rural), because it typically involves bugs, dirt, and other critters -- none of which I enjoy. But I truly love getting in some exercise minus the treadmill, recumbant bike, or ArcTrainer. The crackle of the twigs, the natural terrain, the cool or even crisp air -- it's all good, baby! And it feeeeeels so good, too! The rush afterwards is amazing. Even better than the post-gym feeling, at least for me, in terms of feeling re-centered, achieving zen, and doing something unique.


So while I sorta knew that Venture Outdoors existed, I was really surprised to investigate their web site this evening and find out just how many cool offerings they have -- PERFECT for my taste, my schedule, yadda. This is JUST what I need! I often want to check out new hiking venues, especially since our region is blessed with so many opportunities, but typically feel overwhelmed in narrowing my choice or finding a trail that suits my wants. But Venture Outdoors seems to take care of all of my qualifications and make the selection easier.

I am so psyched!!! I think we will try out one of two of their offerings, and then, if all goes well, join the organization and thereby receive the discounted rate on future outings.

I am happy (closet nature lover that I am -- but shhhh, don't tell Adrian!)

PostSecret vs. Found -- There goes the Neighborhood 2007

We did something very unique on my first day back from The Big Vegas Trip (by the way, I slept for 12 straight hours as soon as I got home from the airport -- a REAL rarity for me, guess I was plumb tuckered out?!). Anyhoo, I had bought tickets for Dr. J and I to attend the "Post Secret vs. Found" event that was coming to our 'tahn, which I was sooooo excited about!

PostSecret is such a guilty pleasure . . . it provides that psychological voyeur window into other people's minds that so intrigues me. Sometimes the secrets are LOL funny, sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes insightful, sometimes silly, and often inspiring. I have found myself continually connecting to people that I have never met, yet feel like I know all too well.

It was a thrill to meet the PostSecret founder/curator, Mr. Frank Warren on Saturday night, as he shared never before revealed secrets with those of us who crowded into a room to hear him speak. I actually found "PostSecret" by way of "Found," another ultra-cool site on the web. The "Found" boys were also there to add their own contribution to the event, which was also highly entertaining, and a perfect compliment to PostSecret. Well done, and well worth the money :o)

Mourning the Loss of a Good Wiener

We recently went to a funeral. For a restaurant. Yes, a restaurant. You can read the article below for how the story unravels:

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06297/732392-46.stm

This past Saturday was the invitation-only party for the "funeral" and "rebirth." And WE were there! I was able to squire an invitation because I was a frequent customer while working downtown, and brought them a good ten or so new customers along the way.

This event was FABULOUS! They even had little programs printed up, with memorial verses and songs inside. One of their friends dressed up as "The Almost Reverend Kevin," everyone came in dark clothes, pretending to cry/wail -- SO MUCH FUN!!!

We received a new t-shirt bearing the new name, "Franktuary," and a CD containing all of the funeral music, hee-hee!

After the funeral, we feasted on their terrific hot dogs, and cupcakes from Dozen Cupcakes (which we have previously visited and LOVE!).

Anyhoo, just a cool Saturday night in Da 'Burgh!