Birthday Forecast

My maternal grandmother (Sagittarius) got me hooked on astrology when I was just a wee little chickie. I can remember reading "Sun Signs" when I was, geez, 6 years old?! My Dad is similarly hooked on his horoscope, to the point that he calls our disabled aunt every morning just to have her read his horoscope (Aries) over the phone to him. No, we are not letting it rule our lives or anything like that. Still, I know that sometimes the general description of a Scorpio (me) is eerily on the mark.

So I thought it might be fun to note and record my the various sources are fortelling about my birthday, today:

From Astrology.com, my birthday reading:

You have a sensible and realistic outlook on life and your two feet are always planted firmly on the ground (though you may, on occasion, have your head in the clouds). Others often see you as a rock of strength, solid, reliable, dependable, and constant. You are, in fact, amazingly consistent for you possess great powers of endurance and do not like to make changes or adjustments in your regular routine. You do things deliberately and methodically and do not easily accommodate the unexpected. Though you have a gentle, even soft, appearance, you are enormously strong-willed and stubborn. You go at your own pace and refuse to be rushed or pushed into anything before you feel sure about it. You can be coaxed and persuaded by charm, beauty, love, or affection - but never forced. You won't fight either, but simply stubbornly resist any attempt to coerce you to do something you do not want to do. Quiet, deep, emotionally complex and intensely private, you are not a person who is easy to get to know and understand. You are extremely sensitive but disinclined to show it, and you allow only a special few into your inner world. Like a wary animal, you are cautious and mistrustful of those you do not know until you "sniff them out". You are very, very instinctive and intuitive. You usually have a strong, immediate gut reaction to people, even though you may be unable to clearly articulate why you feel as you do. Your feelings and perceptions go deeper than words.

From Yahoo.com's 2007 Overview for Scorpio:

Passion carries you far this year in the realms of creativity and expression. Getting in touch with and appreciating more of your passionate nature will transform you in a way that results in putting more money in the bank. You could easily work as an advisor for big companies or in public relations. You understand what motivates people to do a good job and will find yourself in situations where people want your advice. Your creative insight expresses itself in dynamic ways and you will gain lots of recognition.

You have a very good support system in both your career and home life, and will learn that perfect order is taking place in your life at this time. Since your career has gotten off to such a great start this year, by summertime you will have more time on your hands to become romantically involved in a new relationship (or rekindling of old), which you've been thinking about for quite some time. You will be receiving some new and dynamic surprises and will be inspired to do some new and out-of-the-ordinary things in both your career and personal life.

You could enjoy spending time traveling to foreign lands and be drawn to observing others' ideas and cultures. You love to study. You will find that your relationship gives you lots of space to breathe, and yet you still have lots of spare time to take care of your own needs as well. You'll need tons of physical interaction to satisfy that wild passion of yours. Having massages, going to hot springs and being close to nature will bring a lot of balance and harmony to your life.

From the NY Post.com, my birthday reading:

October 24, 2007 -- It's okay to be serious about your aims in life but not so serious that you lose your ability to have fun. Every time you feel the corners of your mouth begin to turn down this year you must think of something amusing that gets you smiling again. It's not so hard - life is meant to be fun.

From CafeAstrology.com, my forecast from 10/24/07 - 10/24/08:

Uranus is a strong player in your Solar Return chart this year, as this electric planet is in hard aspect to the Sun, Mercury, Venus, and Jupiter. As such, some level of unpredictability and/or tension is likely to be a theme in the year ahead. Your life speeds up with this influence, as you adapt to the many changes in your life. You march to the beat of your own drummer this year. Your behavior may be willful, however, which could get you into predicaments from time to time! You may often be tempted to throw out practical or traditional considerations in favor of more exciting or stimulating plans. Unexpected changes in plans or events can test your patience. However, they could stimulate you to try new approaches and they certainly act to cut boredom. Your creativity is stimulated this year, but so is your excitability and your need for freedom. You are likely to be more outspoken than usual, perhaps even rebellious.

Busy, busy, busy! The Sun conjunct Mercury in your Solar Return chart suggests that you have a lot to do this year. At times, you may feel like the pace of your life is running ahead of you. You can be especially productive, however, in all types of communications--writing, speaking, learning, teaching, and so forth.

Mercury sextiles Pluto, suggesting that your mental faculties are attuned to otherworldly impressions, offering you increased insight, psychological understanding and awareness, and focused attention. You are inclined to do a lot of “digging”, researching, analyzing, investigating, and getting to the bottom of things. Increased psychological awareness of yourself and others can benefit you greatly, and employing strategy in your decision making is easier than usual this year. Relationships with younger people may be especially rewarding and meaningful.

Venus opposes Uranus and squares Jupiter in your Solar Return chart, and some disruptions in your friendships and attachments are possible this year. Over-inflated expectations is something to watch out for. You may overvalue something (or someone), perhaps in an attempt to dramatize your life. You may be especially sociable, in the mood to party, dramatic, extravagant, and inclined to overindulge as a result of a feeling of inner discontent and a desire for more from life than daily routines. Unusual attractions (to people and things) can have you acting on a whim. You may deal with freedom versus closeness issues in your relationships. It may be that you experience sudden changes or breakups with a friend or lover. However, the chance of a sudden new friendship is just as likely. At the root of this is a stronger taste for the unusual. What is familiar is less exciting to you than what is new and different. If a relationship seems to threaten your sense of freedom, you may have an easy time separating from it. Some fireworks in both your social and financial lives are to be expected, keeping things fresh and exciting. The best way to handle this energy is to open yourself up to the need for change in your love life or with regards to how you spend and make money--or both. Get in touch with this need for new experiences and/or attitudes so that changes are not forced upon you.

With the Sun sextile the North Node of the Moon, you are likely to form new relationships or connections that further your spiritual growth, or to enhance existing relationships with a spirit of camaraderie. People in authority regard you favorably for the most part. Events take place in which you feel like you are moving forward and growing into a new phase of your life.

The year ahead is one of rapid growth and insistent self-expression. Your social life is bound to involve some fireworks as changes are required of existing relationships. Opportunities to advance in your career come when you employ strategy in your decision making. The need to make changes, and for more freedom in your life in general, can lead to restlessness this year. Life is very busy and quick in pace. Be sure to avoid overly impulsive actions.

2007 is a Number Seven year for you. Ruled by Neptune. This is a year of preparation, chance, and refinement. It is not a time of dramatic changes. Instead, it's a year when reflection on the past is helpful, and when refinements to your life path should be made. It's a good year to study and analyze. Unexpected twists to your life story and "chance" meetings are probable. Advice - take stock of your life in order to prepare for more exciting years to come, examine the past and plan for the future, get in touch with your deepest needs and uncover your personal power, don't strain yourself or actively try to expand.

2008 will be a Number Eight year for you. Ruled by Saturn. This is a year of power and accomplishment. Actively seeking to expand, taking educated risks, and moving forward are highlighted. This is a year of opportunity, particularly in the material and business world, and opportunities need to be seized. It's generally not a year to find a new love partner, simply because the focus is on the material world and your place in the world. This is a problem-solving year in which you can expect real, tangible results. Advice - take action, plan ahead, seize opportunities.

And Finally:

Your personal ruling planets are Mars and Venus.

You are without a doubt a person of strong magnetic presence and will always be at your best when in the company of the other sex.

Your dramatic flair and larger than life gestures attract the attention of those around you and result in your being considered the life of the party.

You are a very devoted family person and loyal to the needs of loved ones. You adhere to the principles of domestic life and the needs of children too.

In matters of finance, you are very capable in stretching a dollar and always appear to be well to do even if you're scratching. Venus being your ruler grants you exceptional taste and refinement in your life choices and attire too!

Music, art and literature will always be an important ingredient of your life!

Your lucky colours are white and cream, rose and pink.

Your lucky gems are diamond, white sapphire or quartz crystal.

Your lucky days of the week Friday, Saturday, Wednesday.


My Dad called me at lunchtime today. And he read me MY horoscope. What a great moment, espcially since he has no idea I have this blog and had written about this topic :o)

The List

So my birthday is coming up. Yes, I admit it. I used to love this time of year when I was younger . . . the combination of the gorgeous fall colors, football season, crisp weather, Halloween, and my birthday would always coalesce to put a smile on my face and genuine enthusiasm in my heart.

When we lived in Kal-ee-forn-yah this started to change, though. First, due to the weather and absence of truly spectacular colors (yes, the leaves do change there, but not like here). And it would still be, like, 90 degrees in October out there. (Okay, so it's supposed to hit the 80's this week, but oh well). But we had such a teeny-tiny box of an apartment when we lived there, that there just wasn't room for much more, and knowing that "The Plan" (hey, I always have a plan!) was to move back East, well, I didn't want to accumulate more "stuff". Having moved approximately 6 gazillion times as a child, I loathe packrats, people who can't part with their shit, and knick-knack stuff on the whole.

So I got in the habit of wanting "experiences" for my birthday, Christmas, anniversary, or V-Day. Ya know, tickets to a play or concert, or something unique that would give me a great memory. That's something easy to pack, and it never gets lost. But we've been back East for 4 years now, so the "no stuff" excuse is gone. Still, the budget issues remain -- no, make that they are TIGHTER than ever. Oh, we are managing, thanks to my ability to stick to a budget and squirrel away money like an acorn. But it's never been tighter, considering.

All of this crystalized in my always swirling brain recently when I was asked "what do you want for your birthday?" HUH?! Aside from my usual vices of VS undies and wine from Sonoma . . . well, it's kinda sad, I guess, but I just don't dream that way. I don't think about what I can't have, even if it's due to self-imposed limits. But sometimes Adrian and Kirsten play a game where they "virtual shop" for the things they want but can't have (I guess this is the online version of window sopping nowadays?!), so I thought I'd give it a try!

Sooooo, for anyone who is STILL looking for that perfect birthday gift for me, here are some ideas:

• Select Comfort Mattress -- I have NOT been sleeping well for some time now, and part of the blame goes to my mattress (though I did completely crash this past Friday night, and got probably the most sound sleep I have had in months).

• Pedicures twice a month, to accompany my manicures. This would also mean I get to spend twice as much time with Melissa, which would be divine!

• Black pearls -- I'd probably get more opportunities to wear a pendant necklace (which is more my speed anyway), but you can't deny how gorgeous a whole gleaming strand is!


• Sirius radio -- or any type of satellite radio gizmo that allows me to float between hip-hop music, jazz, 80's throwbacks, Big Band (yes, I am a closet fan!), while still getting my Dennis Miller fix as needed (love ya, guy!)


• Weekly massages. Really. This goes without saying.

• A limo to drive me around in. Or, if not, I'd take a nice Jaguar so I can cruise in style. Ice blue in color, and old-school with the hood ornament (if anyone really wants to make me happy).

• Diamond stud earrings. Platinum setting preferred, but it's negotiable. Normally I am all about the hoops. But I saw Adrian's and I admit I coveted a bit
  

• Unlimited shopping at H&M. And if the shopping trip could be with HM, that'd be even better.
  


• A night at Nemacolin. With the big tub. Screw the French restaurant in the hotel though.

• Finally (and I really don't think this is too much to ask) two uninterrupted nights with any of the following men: Jimmy Smits, Anthony LaPaglia, Dennis Haysbert, Blair Underwood, Victor Garber, Eric Close, Daniel Dae Kim, and pretty much the entire cast of The Unit.
  
  

THE FIRST TIME

Today was a big day for my man. Drumroll please . . . he got his very first REIMBURSEMENT CHECK from an insurance company, for services he has rendered! [Yes, it DOES take that long for doctors to get paid, so everyone close your jaws].

To understand this, folks, know when you get an "EOB" (Explanation of Benefits) in the mail, telling you what the doctor billed your insurance for, how much your responsibility was, and how much the insurance company PAID your doctor? Yep, THAT'S what Blue Cross slid into his business bank account today.

WOO-FRICKIN'-HOO, Boys and Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, it was not some piddly $12 or any shit like that. It was GOOOOOOD.

Of course, this gets rolled right back into the business -- hey, Dr. J has a loan to pay off, rent to keep paying, and equipment to keep leasing. (But in my Fantasyland Daydreams I am spending the money on myself, hee hee -- hey, a Trophy Wife's gotta dream, right?!)

But it's a significant moment, nonetheless. And I am very proud.

Two good things in one week (see immediate prior post), and only days apart, is this possible?! I feel nervous just speaking about it in anything above the most hushed of whispers!

Adrian, we're crackin' open that bottle of Decoy TONIGHT, sistah!!!!

Paperchase Progress, and A Thought?!

Got some great news about an hour ago . . . .

Hi J. and J.,

I received your certified dossier from Pennsylvania
Secretary of State today, and will send it to New York
Chinese Consulate for authentication today.

Thanks,

Masha

Masha is the Chinese lady who works at Holt that handles our dossier paperwork (by the way, she costs extra -- as she provides a "document processing service," which means nothing to those of you who have never adopted internationally, but is something we considered to be important enough to pay extra for).

Anyhoo, we were THRILLED to get this note from Masha today! As soon as the Chinese Consultate in New York "authenticates" our dossier . . . it's sent off to China to be stamped with a "Log-In Date," which is SO HUGE!!!

We can't thank enough all of our friends and family who have been with us throughout ALL of our bullshit to get to this point. Seriously, I know I crack a lot of jokes, BUT, we continue to need everybody's support, understanding, humor, prayers, friendship, and love.

I know the payoff is out there, even if it feels a loooonnnnggg way off . . . which is why blogs like this one really keep me afloat (especially when I feel as if I will give up this endless treading of water and drown):

Waiting for Sophie

I challenge anyone to scroll down these photos and NOT fall in love with this little girl!!! Clearly, she is a bright shiny penny to all who come in contact with her (and has a Mom who knows how to find some damn stylish clothes for her little girl!)

I had shared this with Dr. J today, and we wound up having the following IM conversation:

Ms. J: did you see the China blog I sent you about that little girl Sophie? She is gorgeous!
Dr. J.: I looked at it real quick, very pretty girl.
Ms. J: I looked back at the first photos of her, when they first got her, and the change is dramatic
Ms. J: CLEARLY, these people have a few bucks to throw around. The mom was rather hot, too
Dr. J: milf?
Ms. J: DEFINTIELY
Dr. J: just like you will be
Ms. J: Maybe i should have called our adoption bog "but i wanna be a MILF?
Dr. J: Nice!

Getting Soft

There region in which I live has been going through some far-ranging temperature shifts . . . like 20-30 degrees in a few days time. Of course, in this area of the country it is not unheard of to have to run your car's heat and A/C all in the course of the same day, hee hee.

STILL, this is the first fall/winter season in which I have been a homeowner, and thus I am more concerned about my gas bill than I have been in the past (hell, most of the apartments I lived in didn't include a separate gas bill). Thus, I have not yet been willing to flick the heat on in our house yet. But this has made for some chilly nights lately.

I used to be so much tougher when it came to being too hot or too cold in my assorted homes as I grew up. This is due to my mother, the original bill-miser, REFUSING to ever let me turn on the A/C or heat wherever we lived, even if the cost was already rolled into our monthly rent payment. The heat always bothered me more than the cold, to the point that I can actually remember CRYING, pleading for my mom to let me turn it on for just a few minutes, as my asthma made it nearly impossible sometimes to get any relief. Thank gawd once I got old enough to drive I just learned to haul ass to the mall for free A/C, or to stay overnight at a friend's house when it became unbearable. Nonetheless, I still probably harbor some lingering resentment for the sticky summer evenings in which my already-temperamental hair wound up looking like ka-ka due to my mom's refusal to A/C-accomodate me for the 15 minutes it took me to style my hair. Grrrr.

When we moved to the Bay Area in order for Dr. J to go to graduate school, my father-in-law (himself a former Bay Area resident) warned me, in his New Yahk accent, that "You'll get soft living in the Bay Area," due to the mild climate in the winters (though we had some scorching summers during the rolling blackouts, oi vey). Generally, I do NOT bitch about the cold weather, as I love wintery scenery. But when it's this chilly in my house . . . well, I begin to fear my father-in-law may be right.

Dr. J made me so friggin' happy last Thursday night, when I came home late from a political fundraiser, tired as hell & knowing I would be getting only 4 hours sleep before I had to be awake for an early-morning legislative breakfast, by surprising me with . . . having put our electric mattress pad on our big bed. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhh, I was in esctasy as I crawled on top of my toasty mattress!

Last night was another cold one. No heat in the house, per our attempt to NOT flick on the furnace in October. It was nice to curl up in that bed, all nice and warm, mmmmm.

But DAMN, was it difficult to get out of bed this morning, as a result. I kept hitting the snooze button on my alarm, and Dr. J kept trying to keep me from getting out of bed (damn you).

I finally swung my feet on the floor, fluffy bathrobe wrapped around me, and padded my way to the bathroom. And as I sat down on the chilled toilet I could only focus on one thought:

I LEFT A COZY BED AND A WARM MAN FOR THIS?!?!

Lust . . . Frosting

The temptation was building . . . and I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold out. Sure, I've enjoyed them before, but when you really find something you like, alot, it can be difficult to not develop a craving for it. And then the craving gets more and more frequent.

And then on Friday morning, it got even more intense, as this lil' item was e-mailed to me, directly by Dozen, announcing that finally, the new fall menu had arrived! And the new ones, raspberry zinger AND chocolate chip cookie??? COME TO ME!!!

How was I supposed to work that day, or even since then, knowing that this type of temptation is out there, calling my name over and over and over?!?!

Is it a WANT or a NEED? Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. I just know that I am obsessively thinking about it, sigh. In my defense, the frosting has never let me down . . . if sin is something that can be licked, than Dozen's frosting is the devil.

OMG!

+

=

LORI & JAY GOT ENGAGED!!!

(He asked her at "Touchdown Jesus" earlier today, hee-hee!)

A New View on Fall

Normally this is my favorite time of year, FALL! I loooovvve Fall, and all of the great things it brings with it: the gorgeous colors from the leaves changing, the crisp air, my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, wearing my favorite CFM boots, the local high school football mania, and of course election season (I'm a weirdo, I know, okay?!)

My girlfriends and I have always acknowledged that the bad thing about summer's passing is that (sniff, sniff) we must pack away our cute lil' sundresses until next year (boo). Still, on the whole, Fall was good, right?!

'Cept that this year seems different for me. Because I am a homeowner. Damn, this changes everything. Those stunning leaves? Yeah . . . I think I am now supposed to do something about them in my yard and on the sidewalk?! (Not that I will, but I am now wondering if my next-door neighbor who INSISTS on blowing her leaves into our yard with her one-armed leafblower gizmo, is passing judgement on me).

That crisp air? It's kinda freaking me out now, because I am worried about heating the house this winter. I called our local gas company to find out about their "budget plan," at my mother's encouragement. The price they suggested I pay each month, to balance out the winter months with the summer ones, was OBSCENE! I am praying that because they base it on the prior owner's usage -- an old lady -- and that she jacked up the heat and was on blood thinners, or something like that! Seriously, this panicked me so much that I quickly called every homeowner relative I knew (as well as Lori so she could call HER Mommy for me) and inquired about their winter gas bill! HOLY SHIT! WTF?!

But wait, there's still my birthday that makes Fall happy, right?! Yeah, right . . . I am becoming increasingly good at lying about my age, which shocks me since I never thought I'd be one of "those" women who was bugged by such a thing. I think it's because I am used to being the young star in my profession/industry -- and recently I have noticed that they're now folks younger than me (but I am convinced I am still much cuter than they -- or is that the smug confidence from being, gasp, older?!)

Halloween -- Halloween is STILL a good Fall thing, right?! Shit, I am a homeowner now. So I asked my 75-year old neighbor (two houses down) how many kids to expect to come knocking And phuck if that didn't result if me walking out of Sam's Club this past weekend with $30 worth of candy. Sigh. I tried to buy stuff I do NOT like, so I am less tempted. But Halloween candy is a purchase requiring great thought and care -- you must buy candy that the kids like enough NOT to egg your house in retribution, but NOT so good that the lil' bastards make 3 and 4 trips to your door on the same night.

High school football must still be a good Fall thing! But my little brother (Lil' Bill) is now in college, which means I am required to make a few obligatory appearences at the midget football games of my baby brother (Mr. Chad) and Nate. I like football, and I love my baby brother and Nate . . . but damn, football games involving 11 year olds are downright painful.

Election season is now WORK for me, as my job requires attendance at A LOT of candidate fundraisers and cocktail parties, as well as coordinating the appearence of my Board members at these events in addition to what seems like ENDLESS golf outings. Don't get me wrong, I like this sort of thing. Hell, I excel at this sort of thing. But just because I am good at something and there is an element of "fun" to it doesn't mean it's not work. Cause it is. I get teased about this all the time by people, as if going to these things is screwing off -- hey, YOU try spending your evenings at these things, having 2-3 drinks in order to blend in, working your way past the 20 people standing around the candidate, persuading them about the merits of your issue/bill, and extracting a promise from them?! Not as easy as you think, I assure you. And on top of this, because I do this for a living, during my non-work hours EVERYBODY wants to "talk politics" with me. Gawd almighty, now I know how doctors feel at parties -- suddenly everybody has an ache or pain or mysterious ailment they want looked at.

Okay, what's left?! Oh right, CFM boots. Lemme think on this one . . . hmmm, um, well . . . okay, CFM boots are STILL a good thing when Fall arrives.

So I am sticking with my CFM boots. Girls, I missed ya -- hope to be sporting you soon!

Kid Rock and Ted Nugent

I love Ted Nugent. Not his music, though I believe he is incredibly talented. But I love Teddy 'cause he's so pure, so hard core, so unapologetic and full throttle! I get a kick every time I hear him on Dennis Miller or Glenn Beck's radio programs.

But I am proud of Kid Rock for what I read about him in the paper recently (New York Post's Page Six of all places?!), too:

Rock Takes A Shot At Penn

WE'D love to see a debate on the war in Iraq between Kid Rock and Sean Penn. Rock didn't name Penn in his interview with Penthouse magazine, but he seemed to be aiming at the actor when he said, "These kids [U.S. soldiers] are very young and a lot of them think people who oppose the war are against them. You have to be very careful with what you talk about - specially when you are some Hollywood [bleep]er. Just because you made a great movie doesn't make you are an expert on foreign policy." Rock spent Christmas with the troops and met then-Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, whom he defends. "I was at the White House drinking a Beam and Coke, shooting the [bleep] with Rumsfeld, when [President] Bush came by and gave me five like we were on Seven Mile and Van Dyke in Detroit," he told Penthouse. And Rock is a big proponent of firearms: "If it weren't for guns and people who know how to use them in America, we'd all be sitting around with swastikas saying, 'Heil Hitler!' "

Asides

A bunch of little things this weekend that kept me busy . . . .

* BARKTOBERFEST -- as usual, a very good time! A plethora of booze, munchies, and desserts. Best of all, I got to see all of my favorite cousins (minus Zanne, who was back in Ohio). And I got more psyched about going to "Wusster" next weekend, where I will see Zanne, and we shall frolic in the apple orchards (do I frolic?! Hmmm, probably not. I can skip, though).


* PARENTS -- Holy Shit, sometimes (no make that most of the times), when I dare venture out in public with my mother and stepfather, it feels like I am taking two little kids with me. Seriously. They either are easily distracted (hullo bright shiny object!) , bitching and moaning, or lumber on their feet like freakin' gazelles. And THEN they have the audacity to mock how fat everybody around them is getting?! Pot -- kettle. Kettle? Pot. (I am not trying to be mean -- but I really had ENOUGH this weekend -- and I had even woke up in a good mood on Saturday).


* DETOX -- I am fairly convinced that the past month's partying and general debauchery has caught up with me. I feel sluggish and less motivated to be at my physical best. So I am trying REALLY hard to get back on track. Fresh fruit, more water, EVEN LONGER workouts at the gym, and (gasp!) no wine. Okay, okay, maybe cold turkey is too extreme?! Start with LESS drinking.

Less Second-Guessing, More Rainbows

I am lucky to have some very good friends who are in all different sorts of life stages, and each of them, in some unique way, has significantly contributed to keeping me sane, especially during the past several years "Fertility Field Trip" (Lori gets credit for that tag, lol).

Not one of them has found herself walking (okay, creeping) down the same path as mine, even among the parents in my posse. Which is probably why there are several blogs I regularly visit on the internet to glimpse, if you will, at the possible forks in the road I could take if I wanted to.

I say could take, because Dr. J and I made a choice, way back before we even started trying to expand our twosome, to not pursue assisted fertility techniques, should it come to it. And despite all of the medical and genetic work-up, and the incredibly crushing heartbreak we have had, we have stuck to this decision. My close friends have been amazingly supportive of this, which I have to say, has been a pleasant surprise! I know plenty of adoptive parents who get shit from their friends and/or families about why they aren't doing this, that, or the other. For our families, I'd say about 90% have been supportive our of our choice.

But as much as this helps, I wish I had a close friend who has walked this loooonnnng road we find ourselves going down (the "Path to Ping-Ping") and could both advise and commiserate with me. "Just adopt!", people will say, as if it's the simpliest thing in the world. Adoption is NOT the easy choice. It's the hard one. It's the long one. And I gotta tell ya, sometimes it's tempting, such as on those days when I am in tears over "the Paperchase" to say "Phuck it, let's go to the R.E. and get this over with." Cause I know it would work. WE know it already. (By the way, thank you Posse, for keeping my eyes on the prize -- esp. Lori, for that one time in particular when I could barely squeak out the words and tell you what was wrong!!!)

Which brings me back to the blogs I read. One woman in particular, Jamie, has been so honest and good about chronicling her every step in her quest to get pregnant. And yet she has had nothing but bad luck and even no luck for 3+ years. And now she is questioning whether she has spent her money wisely, and is wondering if she shouldn't have just pursued adoption from the start, instead of driving herself crazy with all of the doctors appointments, drugs, and procedures.

And while my heart aches for Jamie and her husband, I'd be lying if I didn't find myself, and the choice we have made, being affirmed by her lack of success. I know that if or when Jamie decides she has had enough and instead pursues an international adoption, she will face years of frustration and challenges, though of a different kind. But she will get a rainbow at the end of so many rainy days.

Just like we will.

And it's moments like that, which I try to grasp and hold onto tightly, reminding myself that THIS is a perfect example (even at someone's else expense) of why we chose what we chose. And why we keep running towards The Goal.

TGIF and TGICIS

Today was my first day back to work since our CA-vacay.

Ugh. Rough. Nothing like starting off the morning with a 7:45 a.m. doctor appointment to jolt you from Left Coast to East Coast time, eh?! But I needed to see the doctor so I am not really bitching. Actually, the whole reason was pretty phucking funny, but it's way too personal to post here, even for me.

I had monitored my work e-mails while I was away, so nothing too earth-shattering there to greet me. My boss was out the entire day, which I didn't know ahead of time, but hey it was nice to have fewer interruptions. I had told everyone I would actually be MIA until next Monday, which is a good strategy I think -- it lets me sneak back into the office and catch up without the million phone calls.

Dr. J & I had a double-date this evening with Eddie & Diane. They were treating us to dinner and a Pirate Game, which included fireworks. Hey, we're in!

I got home from work about 20 minutes earlier than Dr. J, and grabbed the day's mail.

And there it was.

The letter we have been sweating and fretting over for so long. A piece of paper we have put lots of time, money, blood (literally), sweat, and tears (mine) into receiving -- or maybe "achieving" is a more accurate description.

A single sheet of paper.

The irony later hit me that earlier this year I saw two lines and began to cry hard with big tears of joy.

This time, I saw two boxes checked and I cried. And it surprised me that I cried just as hard, and with just as much joy.

We received our Form I-171H, which means our I-600A was finally approved by CIS!!!

It's hard to explain to people just what that means.

But to us, it means the world is not flat after all. And our ship is going to sail, instead of remaining docked.

It means tonight, there is hope.

FIELD REPORT -- Wednesday

Our last full day in Kal-ee-forn-yah. We were sad. We have such a love/hate relationship with our former place of residence.

We love the food, the wine, the amazing scenery, the never-ending amount of things to do, see, and tackle. And my job, gawd, we BOTH loved my old job there!

But we hated (and still loathe) the cost of living, the traffic, shitty schools, mass amount of illegal aliens, crooked politicians, and Liberals.

We met up with Dr. J's old boss and still-mentor for lunch. Damn him, Dr. Watson kept tempting us! About 4 times he asked when we were moving back, and continuously reminded Dr. J that should we move back, he "has a job waiting" (with Dr. Watson). Don't get me wrong, I adore Dr. Watson -- he is a former Army Ranger, a true flirt (I love a flirt!), and shaped my husband in so many valuable ways. I guess it's good to know that we have options, if we choose to move back someday. Hey, it's always good to be wanted!

We had a thoroughly yummy lunch in downtown Mountain View at Cascal. Cuban food, yum! I so miss this about Mountain View -- Castro Street (main drag) continuously has THEE BEST food offerings ever. EVER!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately, we then had to waste the next several hours trying to get an emergency prescription filled. Grrrr. California pharmacies are toooooo busy. Maybe this was a fortunate frustration, after all? It jolted us back into reality.

We loaded up on food and wine at Trader Joe's, where I got hit on by a very tall and oh-so-helpful Tarder Joe's employee, and then headed back to Adrian's for our last night of debauchery. And oh, did we ROCK it there!

Perhaps more significantly, I succeeded in getting Adrian HOOKED on Kirsten's and mine favorite reality show, "America's Next Top Model"!!!

And to end our trip, we learned that Noah had left for us a very special present to give to our lil' guy Nate (and Noah's BIGGEST FAN) -- an SFPD hat. Gawd, Noah is both a bad-ass AND a rock star!!!!!!!

Lines of the Day:

* Ms. J -- "Adrian, the show features skinny, insecure women who think they are fat. You'll love it!"

* Adrian -- "Okay, I am now hooked on this show!"

THURSDAY Line of the Day:

* Noah -- "I have to go to San Quentin."

FIELD REPORT -- Tuesday

Today we split up a bit. Dr. J set off to Woodland (near Sacramento) to visit with his former schoolmate, Christian. Christian and his wife have their own chiroratic office, Premier Chiropractic, which Dr. J got to tour and trade stories about. I adore Christian. He has always been a very good friend to Dr. J, and he's just an all-around cool guy.

Meanwhile, Adrian and I had set off to San Francisco in her "gay Miata" to meet up with Kirsten for my inaugural lunch at Rubio's. YUM! Now I understand why they ate there so many times while they worked together. Mmmmmm!

After lunch, we left Kirsten to go visit the Louis Vuitton store, so that Adrian could pre-shop for her anniversary gift. I made sure to not touch anything, lest LV-itis rub off on me and suck me in like it has Adrian and Kirsten. That task completed, we then went to some other high-end home decor store which Adrian adores. Man, did I ever feel like the country bumpkin in there, lol! Geez, I get excited about something from IKEA -- whoa, this was WAY out of my league (forever), hee-hee! But God Bless Her, Adrian has a beautiful home, and is amazing when it comes to putting just the right touches in furnishing a house. Really, she has a talent (no matter how much we may faux-mock her interests)!

We then walked up to Chinatown which, despite the years we lived in the Bay Area, I never actually visited before. I picked up a few trinkets for myself, and a bunch of postcards (gee, what a surprise -- not). The last story we stopped in, and I still have no idea why THAT store as opposed to the hundreds of others, happened to have a small section of children's books. And that's when I saw it . . . I almost cried when I saw it, it just felt like Fate or something?! If Kirsten had been there I probably WOULD have cried (but Adrian is not one for too much emotion so I kept it in). Still, even Adrian knew this was a spooky coincidence and insisted that I just HAD to buy it. So I did. The first thing I ever bought for our "Ping-Ping" was a book for Dr. J and I to read to her someday. I also bought one other book while I was there, because I remember reading it and enjoying it as a child myself.

I was soooo excited to show these books to Dr. J when we met up later that night. I could have bought them at any children's bookstore. But it just seemed fitting that I bought them in Chinatown. And it even seemed fitting that I bought them with "Aunt Adrian."

Lines of the Day:


* Ms. J -- "If you had to live in San Francisco, what neighborhood would you choose?" / Adrian -- "I just wouldn't."

* Adrian -- "You are too pretty. I wasn't talking to you (Dr. J), I was talking to the dogs."

FIELD REPORT -- Monday

Today was Napa Day!

But wait, first we must run Adrian's errands, like we are suddenly her assistants?! So after the post office and bank we set off for Napa. We lunch at Mustard's (yum), then head over to ZD. Decent enough for Adrian to purchase a good red, but not enough for Dr. J & I to make the financial leap.

Then we headed to Frog's Leap, a favorite of Adrian's. Well, it used to be, at least. Adrian did NOT like the decor of the tasting room (it was like Lands End meets Restoration Hardware). She hated the greenish color on the walls (I thought it looked like field moss, but WTF do I know?!) I think 99.9% of people would have found the relaxed, classy atmosphere of their tasting room charming, but not our ManHands. She hated it, and thus any chance of her enjoying their wine was promptyly ruined. Fair enough.

We headed off to Duckhorn. Ahhhhh! As soon as we walked in, Adrian KNEW it was gonna be good. The ambience was right for her, and this she relaxed. Thus, WE could relax, cause Ms. Home Decor Princess was happy. We settled in to try five wines, two of which we all liked very much. Then I saw one on the retail menu that was not part of the tasting menu. Sooooo, even though I was on vacation, I channeled my lobbyist charm, pushed up my cleavage, and asked the one male employee with reddish hair if I could "please just try a little taste of the Decoy?!" (cue me with big eyes, voice dripping with faux innocence yet laced with flirtation, and a slight toss of my own red hair).

It worked. C'mon . . . you KNEW it was gonna work. That is, after all, what I do.

So we tried the Decoy. Ahhhhh! Perfection! All three of us were sated! I wanted to run into the fields, drink a whole bottle of this wine, and just be silly. Mmmmmm.

All three of us now happily buzzed, Adrian decides we need dessert at Auberge du Soleil. It's a very high-brow kind of place, with gorgeous views. We choose several desserts and load up on ice water before we drive to Concord to meet Kirsten!!!!

Onward to meet "Chrissie," the other Charlie's Angel in our merry trio! OHMIGAWD! I am in "wuv" with my Kirsten! GORGEOUS TWINS!!!!!!!!!! (I am talking about her kids, Meg & Simon, now -- get your minds out of the gutter -- leave that dirty ol' man stuff to Dr. J!). And she is soooo pretty! Her hair is terrific! Adrian had us sit in a row and got Dr. J to take photos of our hair -- the contrast of red, blonde, and dark brown next to each other was "fantabulous" (Lisa, I am using "your word" again, darling!). Great idea, ManHands!!! The only thing missing was Jesse -- whom Kirsten, Dr. J and I have yet to meet.


Lines of the Day:

* Adrian -- "Oh, it's so pretty here. It's like a 24-degree view!"

* Adrian -- "Phuckingtastic!"

* Adrian -- "Excuse me, is there a cake-age fee here?"

* Friend of Drunk Guy -- "Sober up, dude!"

* Drunk Guy -- "I'm sober enough to know that I need to get out of this place. I am a selfish bastard. But phuck it, I am not as selfish as this bastard!

* Mahmoud Ahmadinejad -- "There are no gays in Iran. That is a phenomen unique to the United States."

FIELD REPORT -- Sunday

After dragging ourselves out of bed and packing up, we had brunch in the hotel. The Bride and Groom paid for everyone to have brunch on them, which was a classy and welcome send off. It also gave everybody a chance to say goodbye. For me, it was rather sad to say goodbye to Dr. J's godparents, Arlene & Joey (I wanted to cry!!!)

We finally had a few very special moments of bonding with Nicole and Mike, which I will always treasure. I know I have work conference in San Diego in a few years, so I will most definitely be looking forward to seeing them then (as well as Jesse, hee hee).

Nicole remains an amazing source of strength and support to Dr. J & I -- as a couple and as individuals. I have often said I wish Nicole and I weren't related through my husband -- she's that terrific kind of gal you want to confess all of your deep dark twisted stuff to (like Lori!), and get into all sorts of Bad Girl tourble with!

We also finally got to "see" why Nicole and Mike fit together -- sometimes couples are not so obvious on first glance (gawd knows Dr. J & I are not!) But now we know.

It was sad to leave everyone and drive up to the Bay Area, but we were excited to reunite with Adrian again, and were looking forward to our Napa expedition the following day, as well as meeting Kirsten on Monday night.

Line of the Day:


* Nicole -- "So I understand that Wes called every woman at my wedding reception a cunt. Except for your wife. He LOVED her!"

FIELD REPORT -- Saturday

Today was Wedding Day! But not until 5:30 p.m.

We drove around a bit in Morro Bay and finally wind up having brunch at Dorn's. Decent food, large portions, enough to sustain us until dinner.

Still having time to kill we went to downtown San Luis Obispo (which we love), and wandered into "Taste," which is (surprise, surprise), an ultra-modern and hip wine-tasting room that features 72 wines from San Luis Obispo County wines. It was sooooo cool! While there was a semi-knowledgeable woman working there (more on her later), you essentially purchase a debit card and then insert it into various slots and place your glass underneath a bottle to sample a particular wine. The wines are kept in climate controlled cases, according to varietal. It was really neat. After trying a half-dozen, we decided to buy a bottle for the bride and groom, as well as a full glass for both Dr. J & I.

Back at the hotel, I took a quick dip in our private hot tub, thanks to Dr. J's careful asistance. I say "careful assistance" because since I did not know ahead of time that our private tub would be on our patio, I neglected to pack a swimsuit. Oh heck, I don't even OWN a swimsuit. So Dr. J helped me slide into the hot water semi-shielded so I could relax pre-wedding, which I followed up with a nap while he showered.

Nicole and Lt. Commander Mike's wedding was held on the terrace of the hotel, overlooking the ocean. It was very simple, and very lovely. Mike had on his Navy tux, which of course I loved. The wedding guests featured lots of Navy types (including both of the groom's parents, a Commander dad and Chief Petty Officer mom), which had me all high! Nicole's best friend Meredith got "ordained" in order to marry them. During the ceremony, she revealed something about the Happy Couple that shocked just about everybody -- they had met on eHarmony.com!!! WHAT?! Everybody had just assumed Nicole had picked Mike up at some Navy bar in San Diego?!?! What a scream this revelation was!!!

The reception was nice, and the booze was flowing, which is always nice. There were a number of strange comments being tossed my way by one of the groom's Navy buddies, Wes, but thank gawd Dr. J and I have a shared borderline-disgusting sense of humor, and could laugh then and now about the whole thing.

Nicole beamed the whole night, which was the most important thing of all.

Lines of the Day:

* Ms. J -- "You know why this guy likes making pies? 'Cause his wife's face looks like ass."

* Ms. J -- (directed to Dr. J) "That chick pouring wine was your type. If you'd have been cleaned up you could have closed that deal." / Dr. J -- "I know. She gave me a better pour than you." (Note: I took photo of our glasses to illustrate this point).

* Uncle Joey -- "I never really liked the Romans. I mean rhones.


* Wes -- "I really like your wife. I wanna get with her."

FIELD REPORT -- Friday

We sleep off part of our hangover (bad Adrian, BAD Adrian), and set off for Morro Bay. But today Dr. J did the driving. About 15 minutes into 4 hour trip it's clear that we are having car trouble. I call Hertz and they (to their credit) lickety split direct us to a place in Palo Alto to exchange the car. So we do, and since there is a counter full of cute Asian women working there, for once Dr. is thrilled to have car problems, hee hee!

Well, since we are only a few miles away, we roll into Clarke's for some take-out lunch. Clarke's . . . ahhhh! Oh how we MISSED you, Clarke's!!!!

Then we drove onward to Morro Bay for the wedding. Uneventful, pleasant ride, in our newly exchanged semi-blinged vehicle.

Slight problem with check-in at the Inn at Morro Bay when they first assigned us a room WITHOUT a hot tub. Excuse me, I paid for a hot tub room. More importantly, I need a hot tub room.

Finally, we get one. And I am licking my lips at the thought of getting into it -- yippee!!!

So after a hot shower we meet up with Dr. J's godparents for dinner, Arlene and Joey. These people are true New Yahkers . . . gawd, I could ON AND ON about how freakin' AMAZING these people are!!! I just love and admire and respect them more than words can say. I could dedicate an entire blog to them, and it wouldn't be enough. They are fun, spirited, incandescent spirits -- and I am amazingly blessed to have them as my husband's godparents. Really. After a fantastic dinner & conversation at Hoppe's, we return to the hotel for a good night's sleep and . . . yeah, well, we get a good night's sleep, hee hee!

Lines of the Day:

* Ms. J -- "I could understand if someone decided to forgo sex for a Clarke's burger and fries."

* Dr. J -- "Did you feel that shaking?"

* Kirsten -- (via e-mail) "So in the middle of the night I wake up to Hiroshi trying to hump me. I start to turn toward him and he says 'Shhhh, go back to sleep. I got this one.' So I do. And I wake up in the morning to a clump of Kleenex stuck to my crotch. Nice of him to clean up afterwards."

FIELD REPORT -- Thursday

Yes, we are in Thee Land of Fruits & Nuts & Flakes -- a.k.a. Kal-ee-forn-yah!

Our first flight out sucked, due to some hick dad from West Virginia (first clue) sitting directly behind me being unable to deal with his 2 year old daughter's meltdown for the final 30 minutes of the flight. Dude, kids ears usually hurt during takeoffs and landings which is why it helps to give them a bottle during this time! Kee-rist, at least he could have distracted the little monster by giving her a toy or something?! But nope, and instead I was treated to blood-curdling screams and CONSTANT kicking of my seat.

By the time we landed in Chicago at 7:00 .am. we KNEW why people drink heavily during airport layovers. It was VERY tempting, let me tell you.

Second flight to San Jose was less eventful. Had a really nice college-aged girl sitting next to me, who slept most of flight. Dr. J & I amused each other most of the way by passing back and forth a book we are reading. We had to try and contain ourselves because we'd read a few sentences and start laughing our assess off about what this guy wrote. I want to SHOUT the author's name out, but since this wll likely become a Christmas present for a few key people I will keep it on the down low for now.

So we get to CA and head to the rental car place, which is apperently now Sikh Central. My, I had forgotten about them -- usually you encounter them working in banks. Hmmm.

We then headed for our first post-flight stop, which we had been DREAMING of for the past 18 months . . . yep, Amici's!!!! We settled in with our absolutely favorite superthin-crust, New Yahk-style pepperoni pizza and a couple glasses of Coppola red zin . . . Ahhhhhh. It's nice when things are as good as you remember them. It's even better when they exceed it. And Amici's certainly did. We were giddy and excited and relaxed and glad we had decided to come back to Mountain View, the town where we lived our West Coast Adventure.

But then it was time to meet up with ManHands, I mean Adrian (really, I shouldn't start off by insulting the hostess, hee hee!)

She still had a bit more work to do, so we strolled around Palo Alto and did A LOT of reminiscing about some really good times we had, what we missed, and what we didn't (hullo, hippies!)

With Adrian done with work, we followed her home to just north of Half Moon Bay and settled in for what I can best describe as a Frat Party revisited. In fact, this blog entry, while appearing as if I wrote it on Thursday, actually had to be finished on Friday morning, due to the excessive drinking and partying and general debauchery that transpired. God bless Adrian and Noah.

I am forever gonna be a big fan of great quotes, and thus I think the night is best captured through my sharing with all of you the awesome sentences I actually took the time to log into my Treo as they occurred (thank gawd it's the Silicon Valley and NOBODY thinks whipping out your Treo while drinking is anything but normal).

So here ya go, the best of the best -- so far . . .

Lines of the Day:

* Dr. J: "Gilles? Your French boss is named Gilles? Tell him his new name is GARY!"

* Adrian: "Gilles/Gary said to call you both 'Arrogant Americans'."

* Ms. J: "Adrian, there's no easy way to put this . . . I need to go have sex NOW."

* Noah: "Hon, I am going to be a little late. I am walking into a meth lab."

* Ms. J: (texting from the bed) "Kirsten, I wonder if Adrian knows which of her decorative guest bedroom throw pillows is best for elevating the hips post-coital?"

* Adrian: (examining a bottle of Costa Rican whiskey) "I don't understand the writing on this bottle, because it's not American." / Ms. J: "I think you mean English."

* Noah: "I'm calling you again because I am on my way to a shooting."

* Ms. J: "You're all phucking lightweights! Somebody do another shot with me?"

* Noah: "Why is Dr. J wearing a women's cowboy hat?"

* Ms. J: "Coach and Jonah won't stop sniffing my crotch. It's like they know?!"

* Dr. J: "Oh, they know. The dogs know."


We're setting off for Pismo Beach in a few minutes . . . Yee-Haw!

Cheers from here :o)

Full Circle Isn't Enough, Try a Damn Coil

I had the most insane day yesterday. Really.

Some folks have days that begin one way and then do a full 180 degree turn. Not me. And certainly not my Tuesday. Mine didn't even come back around and form a full circle. Instead it reminded me of a coil, making ring after ring after ring, but never quite connecting. Which was the trajectory of my mental state yesterday, too.

Day started off okay, with me semi-fresh faced and looking forward to a mildly productive morning. Then shit with gawddamn Homeland Security had me feeling so amazingly helpless and frustrated that I was in tears. Okay, it was more than tears. I had to close my doors and do the whimper thing, I admit it.

My sweet boss -- just before I shut the door to my office, but clearly "on the verge" so to say -- happened to peak his head into my office, took one look at my face and said softly "Are you okay?" I started to nod but then then slowly shook my head back and forth. He then whispered "You know where to find me if you need to talk" and exited. Clearly, the man is the father of two daughters and KNOWS when to leave a girl alone.

So I pull myself together and make it to my lunchtime appointment. I did so by employing my occasional technique of pretending I am Scarlet O'Hara when she says "Well, I'll think about that tomorrow" -- which is my way of shelving the shit, at least temporarily. (I call it a Scarlet O'Hara moment, but author Elizabeth Marquardt calls it the survivor technique of being a "chameleon" -- whatever, I am happy to just not be labeled "crazy" most days).

The lunch appointment went well. Actually, I take that back. It went REALLY well. So, that improved my mood greatly. Which lasted for the next couple of hours, thankfully.

Then I went to my rescheduled manicure appointment with Melissa. Damn, she should be allowed to bill my health insurance, I swear. And that goes for my hairstylist, Shannen, too. So Melissa does my nails, we each knock back a drink, and trade personal gossip and wild moments. So mellowed out, I then head off to an adoption lecture that Dr. J and I had signed up for.

Only I noticed I had missed a call from my boss while Melissa and I were having our giggly therapy moment.

So I called Boss Man, and find out that at the following day's BoD meeting (which I already knew would include a discussion about budget-tightening) one of the talking points would include cutting MY TRAVEL BUDGET! Worse yet, some BoD members thought that I should NOT go to Vegas for our big national conference, as a cost-cutting measure.

ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?!

Cue the coil as I wrap right back around reality, and the happy, warm post-lunch-sliding-right-into-manicure buzz suddenly evaporates and the morning stress is right smack back! WTF?!

Oh no, people, I am SO going to Vegas. Don't even phucking mess with me on this one. Don't.

So now I am wound up tighter than . . . well, let's just say tight. And now I have to go to a lecture I so don't want to be at, and spend several hours mulling over the pending BoD meeting, and trying NOT to think about how much I hate having to be at this lecture because it's just a reminder of the fact that we are here after, well, you know.

I burst into tears in the parking lot from the compounding stress. I take out the stress by flipping out on Dr. J. Then I spend the next hour apologizing and feeling like a bitch, only barely listening to the lecture. Thank goodness Dr. J made fun of the oh-so-earnest and obvious Vegan couple sitting near us, as it got me to loosen up a bit, and I started to relax.

THEN the big ol' medical emergency happened. Some guy got up and walked behind my chair and out of the corner of my eye I saw him walk into the hallway and RIGHT INTO THE WALL, full speed ahead! Really. He just absolutely crashed into it, and then hit the floor, POW. I screamed for my husband, who jumped up and raced out to the dude, and yelled to a nearby security guard to call 911. Okay, so I had this mini "moment" if you will, where all of the other adoptive couples kept whispering to me "Is your husband a doctor?" and I was trying to nod solemnly, but inside was beaming for my man, who had taken control of the situation. And I knew I would be a little less resentful when I made out his next student loan payment.

Like I said, my day wasn't quite full circle, but a big ass coil . . . with my emotions going round and round, in constant motion but without a clear direction.

Oh, and by the way, this morning as I was trying to comprehend yet ADDITIONAL bullshit from Homeland Security (this is beyond yesterday's crap), I deftly took my Boss and the BoD President aside, separately of course (hullo, divide and conquer!), pre-BoD meeting and let them know my well-reasoned opinion on matters regarding my travel & expenses budget. When it came time for the budget discussion portion of the meeting, I (along with other staff) were excused from the meeting.

And 35 minutes later . . . I got the verdict:

VEGAS, BABY!!!!!!!!!!